Emotions as Messengers

In this series of posts examining the themes from Bruce D. Schneider’s book, Energy Leadership: Transforming Your Workplace and Your Life from the Core, we’ve explored the power of learning to lead your own energy and the essential role of emotional intelligence in that process. Today, for a deeper dive into the role and nature of emotions, I’m sharing an excerpt on the importance of self-compassion found in chapter four of my own book, Choose Your Energy: Change Your Life!

Noticing and embracing all of our emotions is essential to finding flow and making it a way of life. It is nearly impossible to know how to nurture ourselves optimally if we are not willing to go inside, root around a bit and discover what makes us tick.

I know that when you are going through something painful you might feel you can’t bear the added anguish that might result from additional data. The opposite is actually the case; the fear festers and grows in the dark, taking over our lives precisely because we refuse to look at it closely. When we expose it to light and air by examining it with love, respect, curiosity, compassion and gratitude rather than judging, the fear immediately begins to lose some of its power.

Emotions are important messengers. They help us notice the implications of what is happening and gain the maximum benefit from everything we experience. They are powerful indicators of where fear may still have a stronghold and be blocking our growth. They point the way to where we might go exploring for untapped veins of developmental gold.

Emotions as Messengers

Knowing how to recognize, process, express and release emotions is essential to our well-being. When we don’t do so, the resulting buildup of fear-based emotional toxins can be energetically lethal. Our systems bog down from the poison and we become stuck in an endless loop of replaying past pain, injuring and crippling ourselves even more.

When I first began coaching, I was surprised by the number of clients, men and women alike, who were ashamed of crying, even in the presence of a licensed professional coach. Some cited a special appreciation for the norm of coaching by phone because they believed I wouldn’t know when they were crying. (Though it is unlikely that an experienced, intuitive life coach won’t know that you are crying, even if you do so silently.) Tears are a common human response to strong emotion, especially fear and its cousins. For many, the only way to avoid crying is to avoid feeling.

Why is shedding tears so important and beneficial? There is a great parallel in the example of therapeutic massage. Every massage therapist I’ve ever worked with encouraged me to drink lots of water for the twenty-four to forty-eight hours after a massage. Deep tissue work releases copious toxins into your system. For the net result of the massage to be beneficial, it is necessary to flush those toxins from your system as quickly and completely as possible. When you don’t do so, your body may become overwhelmed, resulting in illness. Water is an essential element in ensuring that the massage is therapeutic and not detrimental. Water fosters flow.

Think of crying as the emotional equivalent of water after a massage. When you’ve done deep emotional work on your own or with a guide, stored emotional toxins are released into your system. Tears are one of the common ways to release those toxins and gain the full benefit of the emotional work. Some clients who are carrying a lifetime of unacknowledged, unfelt stored emotions say they are afraid that if they start crying now, they will never stop. While I empathize with that concern, I am happy to report it doesn’t tend to happen. Even a little bit of crying can do a world of good. The stored-up tears do stop, and then, by remaining aware and fully embracing all of your feelings all of the time, you’ll find a little bit of crying goes a long way. Just respecting your feelings enough to notice them and demonstrate compassion rather than continuing to tell yourself to suck it up and stop being a wimp will result in far greater emotional equilibrium and resilience in the face of life’s ups and downs.

When tears arise, it’s an indicator that we are in the presence of a big insight that bears deeper exploration once the strong emotions have been respected and cleared. Other times, there is nothing of note, just a need for a little release of pent-up stress. How do you know which you are dealing with?

Once the tears have passed, breathe, close your eyes and recenter yourself. Once centered, ask yourself if something bears deeper examination. Notice subtle responses throughout the major energy systems in your body, especially any tightening in your head, neck, chest, solar plexus or stomach. Such responses may mean there is more to be worked through. An overall feeling of well-being usually means there is nothing to look at, or nothing to look at right now. In all cases, just trust your intuition. This powerful technique may also be applied to decision making. While it may feel too subtle to notice at first, with practice you will become quite adept at reading your energy.

Remember, emotions are not automatic—they stem from how we interpret events and situations by labeling them as “good” or bad.” Every time you notice yourself experiencing unpleasant emotions, stop and demonstrate genuine compassion for yourself. When you feel “heard” and ready to dig deeper, neutralize the judging voice with curiosity so you can begin looking for the important messages and opportunities buried within the experience. With practice, you’ll be amazed by how adept you become at shifting your energy from catabolic to anabolic through the power of compassionate conscious choice.

Eager to begin exploring the goldmine of valuable messages underneath your emotions? Sign up below for a 60-minute complimentary coaching session.

Web copy used by permission. No reproduction or retransmission is permitted without expressed written consent of Bruce D Schneider and the Institute for Professional Excellence in Coaching (iPEC). ©2006-2016 Institute for Professional Excellence in Coaching (iPEC)

 

FREE Coaching Opportunity
($250 VALUE)

If someone offered you a precious gift for an hour of your time, would you be interested? That’s what I offer with a Complimentary Coaching Session. A comp session isn’t a brief demo or sample. It’s a full 45-minute coaching session focused on current real life challenges of your choosing plus 15 minutes to discuss your experience and any questions you may have about my approach to coaching.

There is no expectation or pressure to hire me as your ongoing coach. Providing meaningful, substantive comp sessions with no obligation is one of the ways I demonstrate gratitude and give back to the Universe a small portion of the abundance and opportunity it bestows on me daily.

The real value of a comp session? PRICELESS! 

Those who have experienced comp sessions will tell you, when you come to your session open to the possibilities for transformation and fully committed to your own growth, big breakthroughs can happen!

FREE Coaching Session

What clients say about
the power of coaching with Deborah 

“I knew Deborah before she became a Professional Life Coach. I’ve been amazed at how she has changed her life. When I decided it was time to begin making decisions about the next phase of my life, I knew immediately that Deborah was the person I wanted to work with. Her personal and professional experiences help her guide clients through coaching in a way that is individualized and delightfully eye-opening. Her warmth and sensitivity are immediately apparent, even over the phone. With gentle encouragement and permission, she will guide you through an examination of your life, including difficult experiences. She will help you gain insight from your past choices and then explore possibilities for moving forward in less encumbered ways. When you work with Deborah, your life will take on new meaning and your potential will be limitless!” Chris

“The work I did with Deborah continues to change my life. While I have learned many valuable lessons from her, the greatest was the deep insight that is available to me when I listen to and learn from my own inner wisdom. Her intuition, discernment and encouragement have taught me to trust my own intuition—creating new paths and possibilities for my life. One of Deborah’s great gifts is helping others respect and connect with their inner guidance and through that connection, to form a deeper, more meaningful bond with the collective wisdom and energy of all.” Ryan

Click here to sign up for a 60-minute
complimentary coaching session with Deborah.

 

What readers say about
the impact of Deborah’s book

“With the same energy and determination she applied in the professional world, Deborah has taken her considerable expertise in human potential and has now set her sights on the largest co-op in the world, humanity. ‘Choose Your Energy, Change Your Life!’ tackles what I believe are the most important questions we each must ask: who am I, where did I come from, why am I here, and what’s love got to do with it (cue Tina Turner)? These are not trivial or philosophical questions for the answers change what we do, why we do it, who and what we love. I am grateful for the opportunity to walk with Deborah on this critical journey.” JD Messenger, Award Winning Author of “11 Days in May: The Conversation That Will Change Your Life”

“To me the great thing about Deborah’s book is how ‘accessible’ she makes the ideas. The Oxygen Mask is probably the single best example. As with so many of the ideas in the book, she explains the principle in such a simple way that it’s got universal application to virtually any reader. I can imagine people having multiple moments of ‘Oh….I get it!’ throughout the book. The stories from her own life as well as stories of her clients’ experiences become stories about all of us—stories about which the reader will think, ‘I am living my own version of this.’ Well done—bravo!” Joe Calloway, Author of “Be The Best At What Matters Most”

Click here to explore Deborah’s book.

© Copyright 2015 DJW Life Coach LLC. All rights reserved.
Posted in All My Blog Posts, Energy Leadership | Tagged , , , , , , | Leave a comment

When Life Sends You Lemons

Our study of the empowerment principles shared in Bruce D. Schneider’s book, Energy Leadership continues with an exploration of how we respond to life.

While most of us would be quick to say we want less stress in our lives, what we really want is greater ability to respond with equanimity, creativity and optimism to whatever comes our way. It’s been said many times, the only control we have in life is how we respond. We may not be able to choose what happens to us, but we can choose our responses to the people and situations we encounter.

Let’s take a look at five common responses people have to stressful situations. As you read through these five responses, you may want to think of a recent stressful event or uncomfortable news you received, and determine what your reaction to that event can teach you about how you habitually respond. You may have one type of response at work, and another at home or you may react differently depending on who else is involved.

When life sends you lemons, make lemonade!

A first—and all too common—response to stressful events is to suffer and make yourself a victim to it. People who respond this way don’t take action. Things happen TO them. Though they may invest considerable time and energy complaining and being miserable about their situation, they don’t take any actual steps to encourage themselves or try to change anything. Over the long haul, allowing circumstances to dictate your responses can take a dangerous toll on physical and mental health.

A second response is to ignore or avoid the situation. People responding this way make a decision not to get involved in a situation that they don’t see as concerning them or upon which they can’t have a positive impact. For example, someone may choose not to get involved in a dispute going on within their office if it doesn’t directly involve them.

A third type of response is to accept the situation and put it into perspective. Someone with this response may say “so what” and follow up with asking how much it will matter in a year, a week or even a day.

A fourth way to respond is to take action that begins moving the situation toward resolution. This self-empowering response is one that many effective leaders employ.

A fifth way people respond to stressors is to alter their experience of the situation. When we look at a situation differently, the experience itself changes. Changing perceptions can be the most challenging of the responses, because we can get stuck in our own limiting beliefs, interpretations and assumptions about what’s happening, but it is perhaps the most powerful of all.

It’s your world and you can create it as you wish. Remember, what one person sees as stressful, another person barely notices and another sees as exciting and full of opportunity. How are you going to choose to paint your reality today?

Curious about the energetic signature of your own habitual responses to circumstances? Start reclaiming your power of conscious constructive choice by signing up below for a 60-minute complimentary coaching session.

Web copy used by permission. No reproduction or retransmission is permitted without expressed written consent of Bruce D Schneider and the Institute for Professional Excellence in Coaching (iPEC). ©2006-2016 Institute for Professional Excellence in Coaching (iPEC)

 

FREE Coaching Opportunity
($250 VALUE)

If someone offered you a precious gift for an hour of your time, would you be interested? That’s what I offer with a Complimentary Coaching Session. A comp session isn’t a brief demo or sample. It’s a full 45-minute coaching session focused on current real life challenges of your choosing plus 15 minutes to discuss your experience and any questions you may have about my approach to coaching.

There is no expectation or pressure to hire me as your ongoing coach. Providing meaningful, substantive comp sessions with no obligation is one of the ways I demonstrate gratitude and give back to the Universe a small portion of the abundance and opportunity it bestows on me daily.

The real value of a comp session? PRICELESS! 

Those who have experienced comp sessions will tell you, when you come to your session open to the possibilities for transformation and fully committed to your own growth, big breakthroughs can happen!

FREE Coaching Session

What clients say about
the power of coaching with Deborah 

“I knew Deborah before she became a Professional Life Coach. I’ve been amazed at how she has changed her life. When I decided it was time to begin making decisions about the next phase of my life, I knew immediately that Deborah was the person I wanted to work with. Her personal and professional experiences help her guide clients through coaching in a way that is individualized and delightfully eye-opening. Her warmth and sensitivity are immediately apparent, even over the phone. With gentle encouragement and permission, she will guide you through an examination of your life, including difficult experiences. She will help you gain insight from your past choices and then explore possibilities for moving forward in less encumbered ways. When you work with Deborah, your life will take on new meaning and your potential will be limitless!” Chris

“The work I did with Deborah continues to change my life. While I have learned many valuable lessons from her, the greatest was the deep insight that is available to me when I listen to and learn from my own inner wisdom. Her intuition, discernment and encouragement have taught me to trust my own intuition—creating new paths and possibilities for my life. One of Deborah’s great gifts is helping others respect and connect with their inner guidance and through that connection, to form a deeper, more meaningful bond with the collective wisdom and energy of all.” Ryan

Click here to sign up for a 60-minute
complimentary coaching session with Deborah.

 

What readers say about
the impact of Deborah’s book

“With the same energy and determination she applied in the professional world, Deborah has taken her considerable expertise in human potential and has now set her sights on the largest co-op in the world, humanity. ‘Choose Your Energy, Change Your Life!’ tackles what I believe are the most important questions we each must ask: who am I, where did I come from, why am I here, and what’s love got to do with it (cue Tina Turner)? These are not trivial or philosophical questions for the answers change what we do, why we do it, who and what we love. I am grateful for the opportunity to walk with Deborah on this critical journey.” JD Messenger, Award Winning Author of “11 Days in May: The Conversation That Will Change Your Life”

“To me the great thing about Deborah’s book is how ‘accessible’ she makes the ideas. The Oxygen Mask is probably the single best example. As with so many of the ideas in the book, she explains the principle in such a simple way that it’s got universal application to virtually any reader. I can imagine people having multiple moments of ‘Oh….I get it!’ throughout the book. The stories from her own life as well as stories of her clients’ experiences become stories about all of us—stories about which the reader will think, ‘I am living my own version of this.’ Well done—bravo!” Joe Calloway, Author of “Be The Best At What Matters Most”

Click here to explore Deborah’s book.

© Copyright 2015 DJW Life Coach LLC. All rights reserved.
Posted in All My Blog Posts, Energy Leadership | Tagged , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Do You Appreciate the True Human Resource?

In the past eight Energy Leadership blog posts, we’ve explored some of the key differences between catabolic and anabolic leaders. In this post, we’ll take a closer look at how the two types of leaders treat and think about their human resources—the people who work with them and those who report to them.

We hear the term Human Resources a lot and HR departments are found at companies large and small. But have you ever stopped to consider what the term really means?

William R. Tracey, in The Human Resources Glossary, defines Human Resources as “The people that staff and operate an organization.” Businessdictionary.com considers it “the scarcest and most crucial productive resource that creates the largest and longest lasting advantage for an organization. It resides in the knowledge, skills and motivation of people.”

Catabolic leaders take advantage of the people around them. Catabolic leaders are only interested in what they and their organizations can get from others. People are treated like pawns in a game that the catabolic leader controls; no consideration is given to others’ feelings and needs.

Do You Appreciate the True Human Resource?

Catabolic leaders rarely, if ever, share credit with staff or colleagues. If you report to catabolic leaders, they probably feel they own you and your accomplishments. And, if you’re a colleague, you’re treated as competition in a scarcity-based dog-eat-dog world where collaboration is only considered a weakness. Though catabolic leaders often come across as bossy and condescending, this pose masks a deep sense of low self-esteem and insecurity that they bolster through a false sense of superiority.

Remembering from quantum physics that energy attracts like energy, it’s no wonder that catabolic leaders encounter what they expect: employees that present problems.

Anabolic leaders, on the other hand, respectfully harness the creative and productive potential of those around them. Having the belief that we all have something to offer, anabolic leaders look for ways to integrate staff talents with company needs. These leaders see their staff and colleagues as gifted and filled with possibilities. Anabolic leaders help team members find their unique blend of gifts and utilize those gifts to serve the organization and the individuals sharing their gifts. Such leaders recognize the competencies of those around them, and they act in ways that make others truly feel like partners, whatever their titles or organizational levels. Because greatness is expected, greatness is expressed.

Anabolic leaders coach their team members, using important skills such as listening, acknowledging, validating, championing and envisioning to create constructive relationships and establish all individuals in the organization as leaders in their own right. Instead of finding people to be problems, anabolic leaders find people to be a limitless source of potential and opportunities.

In too many organizations, the focus of the HR Department is still dealing with “problem people.” If leaders saw the people in their companies as genuine resources—a veritable goldmine of opportunities—rather than the source of problems, how much greater the contribution of the HR department itself might be to the success and growth of those organizations.

How do you and your organization treat your human resources? Are your people “problems” needing to be fixed (and failing that, eliminated) or do you nurture, inspire and empower your most precious and valuable asset?

To strengthen your recognition and appreciation of the personal and professional human resources in your life, sign up below for a 60-minute complimentary coaching session.

Web copy used by permission. No reproduction or retransmission is permitted without expressed written consent of Bruce D Schneider and the Institute for Professional Excellence in Coaching (iPEC). ©2006-2016 Institute for Professional Excellence in Coaching (iPEC)

 

FREE Coaching Opportunity
($250 VALUE)

If someone offered you a precious gift for an hour of your time, would you be interested? That’s what I offer with a Complimentary Coaching Session. A comp session isn’t a brief demo or sample. It’s a full 45-minute coaching session focused on current real life challenges of your choosing plus 15 minutes to discuss your experience and any questions you may have about my approach to coaching.

There is no expectation or pressure to hire me as your ongoing coach. Providing meaningful, substantive comp sessions with no obligation is one of the ways I demonstrate gratitude and give back to the Universe a small portion of the abundance and opportunity it bestows on me daily.

The real value of a comp session? PRICELESS! 

Those who have experienced comp sessions will tell you, when you come to your session open to the possibilities for transformation and fully committed to your own growth, big breakthroughs can happen!

FREE Coaching Session

What clients say about
the power of coaching with Deborah 

“I knew Deborah before she became a Professional Life Coach. I’ve been amazed at how she has changed her life. When I decided it was time to begin making decisions about the next phase of my life, I knew immediately that Deborah was the person I wanted to work with. Her personal and professional experiences help her guide clients through coaching in a way that is individualized and delightfully eye-opening. Her warmth and sensitivity are immediately apparent, even over the phone. With gentle encouragement and permission, she will guide you through an examination of your life, including difficult experiences. She will help you gain insight from your past choices and then explore possibilities for moving forward in less encumbered ways. When you work with Deborah, your life will take on new meaning and your potential will be limitless!” Chris

“The work I did with Deborah continues to change my life. While I have learned many valuable lessons from her, the greatest was the deep insight that is available to me when I listen to and learn from my own inner wisdom. Her intuition, discernment and encouragement have taught me to trust my own intuition—creating new paths and possibilities for my life. One of Deborah’s great gifts is helping others respect and connect with their inner guidance and through that connection, to form a deeper, more meaningful bond with the collective wisdom and energy of all.” Ryan

Click here to sign up for a 60-minute
complimentary coaching session with Deborah.

 

What readers say about
the impact of Deborah’s book

“With the same energy and determination she applied in the professional world, Deborah has taken her considerable expertise in human potential and has now set her sights on the largest co-op in the world, humanity. ‘Choose Your Energy, Change Your Life!’ tackles what I believe are the most important questions we each must ask: who am I, where did I come from, why am I here, and what’s love got to do with it (cue Tina Turner)? These are not trivial or philosophical questions for the answers change what we do, why we do it, who and what we love. I am grateful for the opportunity to walk with Deborah on this critical journey.” JD Messenger, Award Winning Author of “11 Days in May: The Conversation That Will Change Your Life”

“To me the great thing about Deborah’s book is how ‘accessible’ she makes the ideas. The Oxygen Mask is probably the single best example. As with so many of the ideas in the book, she explains the principle in such a simple way that it’s got universal application to virtually any reader. I can imagine people having multiple moments of ‘Oh….I get it!’ throughout the book. The stories from her own life as well as stories of her clients’ experiences become stories about all of us—stories about which the reader will think, ‘I am living my own version of this.’ Well done—bravo!” Joe Calloway, Author of “Be The Best At What Matters Most”

Click here to explore Deborah’s book.

© Copyright 2015 DJW Life Coach LLC. All rights reserved.
Posted in All My Blog Posts, Energy Leadership | Tagged , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Do You See Obstacles or Opportunities?

There’s an oft-told story that perfectly illustrates the next key distinction between anabolic and catabolic leaders.

A shoe company once sent two salespeople to a region of Africa in which the company had never sold any shoes. The first was Tom, one of their most experienced senior sales reps. They expected big things of Tom. 

The other was an eager rookie named Cynthia. She didn’t have much experience, but she had a lot of enthusiasm. They figured she might be able to sell a few pair of shoes. 

Shortly after the sales team’s arrival in Africa, Tom, the experienced salesperson wrote the home office saying, “You might as well bring me back. Nobody here wears shoes.” 

The rookie, Cynthia, wired the home office an urgent message, “Send me all the shoes you’ve got. Nobody here is wearing shoes!”

Do You See Problems or Opportunities?

Two people, faced with the same situation, yet having totally different reactions. What’s the difference between them? In a word, it’s energy—Tom is fueled by catabolic energy and Cynthia is fueled by anabolic energy. Looking through the lens of catabolic energy, leaders see obstacles and problems everywhere and in everything.

When they shift to the lens of anabolic energy, those same leaders become motivated to take action and capitalize on the plethora of opportunities and possibilities they perceive in every situation and circumstance.

Gripped by the Big 4 fear-fueled blocks of limiting beliefs, interpretations, assumptions and gremlins, leaders tend to focus on what’s wrong with their lives, their businesses and the world. When they choose to immerse themselves in a sea of destructive, catabolic energy, they complain, moan and don’t take a lot of action because they believe there are only more obstacles and problems ahead.

People with high anabolic energy—what Bruce D. Schneider refers to as Level 5 and above in his book Energy Leadership—get excited about transforming everything into an opportunity. They look at every situation and wonder what’s working, what’s right and what breakthrough might be next? They don’t see obstacles or problems, just thrilling adventures and fulfilling possibilities for making life even better.

While a leader fueled by catabolic energy might get upset and angry if one of his customers took his business to a competitor, a leader fueled by anabolic energy would look at that situation as an opportunity to, not only get the customer back, but to strengthen that and other client relationships by identifying and improving the factors that led to the customer’s dissatisfaction.

As you go through your day, look at your responses to what’s happening around you. Remember that your chosen perceptions calibrate your energy level and that energy level creates your reality. You always have the power to choose your response and shift from catabolic to anabolic energy. Neutralize the Negative Nellie voice in your head by getting curious—what’s working, what’s right and what breakthrough might be next?

Recapture your zest for living and step into your greatness TODAY by reclaiming your power to create the world you desire.

For help shifting your mindset to transform obstacles into opportunities, sign up below for a 60-minute complimentary coaching session.

Web copy used by permission. No reproduction or retransmission is permitted without expressed written consent of Bruce D Schneider and the Institute for Professional Excellence in Coaching (iPEC). ©2006-2016 Institute for Professional Excellence in Coaching (iPEC)

 

FREE Coaching Opportunity
($250 VALUE)

If someone offered you a precious gift for an hour of your time, would you be interested? That’s what I offer with a Complimentary Coaching Session. A comp session isn’t a brief demo or sample. It’s a full 45-minute coaching session focused on current real life challenges of your choosing plus 15 minutes to discuss your experience and any questions you may have about my approach to coaching.

There is no expectation or pressure to hire me as your ongoing coach. Providing meaningful, substantive comp sessions with no obligation is one of the ways I demonstrate gratitude and give back to the Universe a small portion of the abundance and opportunity it bestows on me daily.

The real value of a comp session? PRICELESS! 

Those who have experienced comp sessions will tell you, when you come to your session open to the possibilities for transformation and fully committed to your own growth, big breakthroughs can happen!

FREE Coaching Session

What clients say about
the power of coaching with Deborah 

“I knew Deborah before she became a Professional Life Coach. I’ve been amazed at how she has changed her life. When I decided it was time to begin making decisions about the next phase of my life, I knew immediately that Deborah was the person I wanted to work with. Her personal and professional experiences help her guide clients through coaching in a way that is individualized and delightfully eye-opening. Her warmth and sensitivity are immediately apparent, even over the phone. With gentle encouragement and permission, she will guide you through an examination of your life, including difficult experiences. She will help you gain insight from your past choices and then explore possibilities for moving forward in less encumbered ways. When you work with Deborah, your life will take on new meaning and your potential will be limitless!” Chris

“The work I did with Deborah continues to change my life. While I have learned many valuable lessons from her, the greatest was the deep insight that is available to me when I listen to and learn from my own inner wisdom. Her intuition, discernment and encouragement have taught me to trust my own intuition—creating new paths and possibilities for my life. One of Deborah’s great gifts is helping others respect and connect with their inner guidance and through that connection, to form a deeper, more meaningful bond with the collective wisdom and energy of all.” Ryan

Click here to sign up for a 60-minute
complimentary coaching session with Deborah.

 

What readers say about
the impact of Deborah’s book

“With the same energy and determination she applied in the professional world, Deborah has taken her considerable expertise in human potential and has now set her sights on the largest co-op in the world, humanity. ‘Choose Your Energy, Change Your Life!’ tackles what I believe are the most important questions we each must ask: who am I, where did I come from, why am I here, and what’s love got to do with it (cue Tina Turner)? These are not trivial or philosophical questions for the answers change what we do, why we do it, who and what we love. I am grateful for the opportunity to walk with Deborah on this critical journey.” JD Messenger, Award Winning Author of “11 Days in May: The Conversation That Will Change Your Life”

“To me the great thing about Deborah’s book is how ‘accessible’ she makes the ideas. The Oxygen Mask is probably the single best example. As with so many of the ideas in the book, she explains the principle in such a simple way that it’s got universal application to virtually any reader. I can imagine people having multiple moments of ‘Oh….I get it!’ throughout the book. The stories from her own life as well as stories of her clients’ experiences become stories about all of us—stories about which the reader will think, ‘I am living my own version of this.’ Well done—bravo!” Joe Calloway, Author of “Be The Best At What Matters Most”

Click here to explore Deborah’s book.

© Copyright 2015 DJW Life Coach LLC. All rights reserved.
Posted in All My Blog Posts, Energy Leadership | Tagged , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Are You Leading with Your Entire Brain?

Time to explore another very interesting distinction between anabolic and catabolic leaders—the way each type of leader thinks. This is perhaps one of the most complicated, but essential, aspects of understanding the fundamental difference between the two types of leaders.

Catabolic leaders use left brain analysis almost exclusively. This type of thinking is linear and rational. It’s the logical approach and considers only facts and actual observations.

In contrast, anabolic leaders use whole brain thinking, which encompasses the emotions and intuition of the right brain along with the logic of the left brain. This type of thinking is called holographic thinking because like multi-dimensional holograms, it involves being able to see situations and potentialities from many different perspectives at once.

By using their emotional and intuitive minds in addition to left brain logical analysis, anabolic leaders are able to assess a situation in its entirety to discern a complete picture of what is really going on. The ability to see this “meta-view” is key to making optimal short- and long-term decisions that provide the greatest possibility for success in every aspect of life.

Are You Leading with Your Entire Brain?

So how would this actually play out in real life? Say a leader was faced with a decision about whether to pull the plug on a project that wasn’t producing the expected income. The catabolic leader would look only at the facts and figures and, most likely, would decide to discontinue the project because the money wasn’t coming in.

An anabolic leader would also consider the facts and figures concerning the disappointing return on investment, but would then cast a wider net to weigh other considerations. Anabolic leaders would also examine their intuitive response and flashes of insight. And they’d consider emotional responses—their own and those of other affected parties.

Though the anabolic leaders might sometimes come to the same conclusions as the catabolic leaders, the reliability of their decisions in producing the best outcomes will be far better.

By using a holographic approach, anabolic leaders are being both efficient and effective by addressing opportunities and challenges from many perspectives at once. To practice thinking holographically, consider your potential action in light of what makes sense, what your emotional response to it is and what your intuition tells you. If this is a new approach, it may feel intangible and awkward at first. But if you stick with it, eventually it will become the new normal that increases your success rate exponentially.

To explore how holographic leadership might enhance your life personally and professionally, sign up below for a 60-minute complimentary coaching session.

Web copy used by permission. No reproduction or retransmission is permitted without expressed written consent of Bruce D Schneider and the Institute for Professional Excellence in Coaching (iPEC). ©2006-2016 Institute for Professional Excellence in Coaching (iPEC)

 

FREE Coaching Opportunity
($250 VALUE)

If someone offered you a precious gift for an hour of your time, would you be interested? That’s what I offer with a Complimentary Coaching Session. A comp session isn’t a brief demo or sample. It’s a full 45-minute coaching session focused on current real life challenges of your choosing plus 15 minutes to discuss your experience and any questions you may have about my approach to coaching.

There is no expectation or pressure to hire me as your ongoing coach. Providing meaningful, substantive comp sessions with no obligation is one of the ways I demonstrate gratitude and give back to the Universe a small portion of the abundance and opportunity it bestows on me daily.

The real value of a comp session? PRICELESS! 

Those who have experienced comp sessions will tell you, when you come to your session open to the possibilities for transformation and fully committed to your own growth, big breakthroughs can happen!

FREE Coaching Session

What clients say about
the power of coaching with Deborah 

“I knew Deborah before she became a Professional Life Coach. I’ve been amazed at how she has changed her life. When I decided it was time to begin making decisions about the next phase of my life, I knew immediately that Deborah was the person I wanted to work with. Her personal and professional experiences help her guide clients through coaching in a way that is individualized and delightfully eye-opening. Her warmth and sensitivity are immediately apparent, even over the phone. With gentle encouragement and permission, she will guide you through an examination of your life, including difficult experiences. She will help you gain insight from your past choices and then explore possibilities for moving forward in less encumbered ways. When you work with Deborah, your life will take on new meaning and your potential will be limitless!” Chris

“The work I did with Deborah continues to change my life. While I have learned many valuable lessons from her, the greatest was the deep insight that is available to me when I listen to and learn from my own inner wisdom. Her intuition, discernment and encouragement have taught me to trust my own intuition—creating new paths and possibilities for my life. One of Deborah’s great gifts is helping others respect and connect with their inner guidance and through that connection, to form a deeper, more meaningful bond with the collective wisdom and energy of all.” Ryan

Click here to sign up for a 60-minute
complimentary coaching session with Deborah.

 

What readers say about
the impact of Deborah’s book

“With the same energy and determination she applied in the professional world, Deborah has taken her considerable expertise in human potential and has now set her sights on the largest co-op in the world, humanity. ‘Choose Your Energy, Change Your Life!’ tackles what I believe are the most important questions we each must ask: who am I, where did I come from, why am I here, and what’s love got to do with it (cue Tina Turner)? These are not trivial or philosophical questions for the answers change what we do, why we do it, who and what we love. I am grateful for the opportunity to walk with Deborah on this critical journey.” JD Messenger, Award Winning Author of “11 Days in May: The Conversation That Will Change Your Life”

“To me the great thing about Deborah’s book is how ‘accessible’ she makes the ideas. The Oxygen Mask is probably the single best example. As with so many of the ideas in the book, she explains the principle in such a simple way that it’s got universal application to virtually any reader. I can imagine people having multiple moments of ‘Oh….I get it!’ throughout the book. The stories from her own life as well as stories of her clients’ experiences become stories about all of us—stories about which the reader will think, ‘I am living my own version of this.’ Well done—bravo!” Joe Calloway, Author of “Be The Best At What Matters Most”

Click here to explore Deborah’s book.

© Copyright 2015 DJW Life Coach LLC. All rights reserved.
Posted in All My Blog Posts, Energy Leadership | Tagged , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Emotions at Work

Our comparison of anabolic and catabolic leaders continues with an exploration of how aware they are of their own and others’ emotions, how they express their emotions and how they manage them in the work environment.

Anabolic leaders understand that emotions are important messengers and essential contributors to what it means to be human. As such, it’s neither practical nor useful to expect emotions to be left at the office door.

Oddly enough, though catabolic leaders typically say emotions have no place at work, when they become frustrated or are unpleasantly surprised, they often demonstrate a tremendous inability to apply that prohibition to their own emotions at work.

Awareness, expression and management of emotion are the three main aspects of emotional intelligence. In Energy Leadership™ terms, emotional intelligence is defined as the ability to distinguish, understand and have an awareness of how thoughts and feelings connect with outward displays and behaviors, as well as the ability to manage and express emotions constructively and help others do the same.

Let’s take a closer look at each of the components of emotional intelligence to determine how they manifest differently in catabolic and anabolic leaders.

Emotions at Work

Awareness of Emotions

Catabolic: These leaders are often oblivious to their own emotions and the emotions of others. In addition, they are unaware of the effect emotions have on themselves and others.

Anabolic: These leaders are aware of their own and others’ emotions and they’re able to step back and recognize that their emotions are not automatic. They know their emotions are shaped by their thoughts. Anabolic leaders get curious about the genesis and ramifications of their emotions. The look for any fear-fueled energetic blocks they are carrying in the form of limiting beliefs, interpretations, assumptions or gremlins. And they dig deeper for hidden opportunities by asking themselves:

“What thoughts are fueling my response?”

“What is my real objective?”

“What better choices do I have for achieving my goal?”

“In what other areas of my life
could I apply what I learned from this experience?”

Expression of Emotions

Catabolic: As we mentioned at the outset, many catabolic leaders think emotions should never be expressed at work. They don’t want others to see their emotions and don’t want to have to deal with the emotions of others. Their attempted suppression of emotions actually helps fuel overreaction and inappropriate expression (such as yelling and eye rolling) when contained unpleasant emotions reach the breaking point. Alas, when they do express emotions, they do so in ways that can make difficult situations even trickier.

Anabolic: Anabolic leaders understand that emotions are a part of each of us, and that they can’t be “turned off” at will. They know how to express their emotions in the appropriate time and fashion. By sharing, acknowledging and validating, they create an environment in which their colleagues feel valued and understood.

 

Management of Emotions

Catabolic: When exposed to the unexpected and other stressors, catabolic leaders become easily frustrated, angry and resentful. Because they have difficulty managing their own emotions, in times of crisis the people around them are inclined to look elsewhere for sound guidance and genuine support.

Anabolic: These leaders have the ability to manage their own moods constructively and help others do so as well. They also are able to control their own emotions, even during stressful situations. When they respond mindfully, instead of reacting automatically, their calm, confident, optimistic attitude promotes a work environment conducive to solutions and success.

Emotional intelligence (EI) is directly related to interpersonal effectiveness (IE). The higher your emotional intelligence, the more effective you’ll be as a leader and communicator in all areas of your life. Click here to download a special report that further explores the relationship between EI and IE.

To explore how your current level of emotional intelligence is affecting your interpersonal effectiveness, sign up below for a 60-minute complimentary coaching session.

Web copy used by permission. No reproduction or retransmission is permitted without expressed written consent of Bruce D Schneider and the Institute for Professional Excellence in Coaching (iPEC). ©2006-2016 Institute for Professional Excellence in Coaching (iPEC)

 

FREE Coaching Opportunity
($250 VALUE)

If someone offered you a precious gift for an hour of your time, would you be interested? That’s what I offer with a Complimentary Coaching Session. A comp session isn’t a brief demo or sample. It’s a full 45-minute coaching session focused on current real life challenges of your choosing plus 15 minutes to discuss your experience and any questions you may have about my approach to coaching.

There is no expectation or pressure to hire me as your ongoing coach. Providing meaningful, substantive comp sessions with no obligation is one of the ways I demonstrate gratitude and give back to the Universe a small portion of the abundance and opportunity it bestows on me daily.

The real value of a comp session? PRICELESS! 

Those who have experienced comp sessions will tell you, when you come to your session open to the possibilities for transformation and fully committed to your own growth, big breakthroughs can happen!

FREE Coaching Session

What clients say about
the power of coaching with Deborah 

“I knew Deborah before she became a Professional Life Coach. I’ve been amazed at how she has changed her life. When I decided it was time to begin making decisions about the next phase of my life, I knew immediately that Deborah was the person I wanted to work with. Her personal and professional experiences help her guide clients through coaching in a way that is individualized and delightfully eye-opening. Her warmth and sensitivity are immediately apparent, even over the phone. With gentle encouragement and permission, she will guide you through an examination of your life, including difficult experiences. She will help you gain insight from your past choices and then explore possibilities for moving forward in less encumbered ways. When you work with Deborah, your life will take on new meaning and your potential will be limitless!” Chris

“The work I did with Deborah continues to change my life. While I have learned many valuable lessons from her, the greatest was the deep insight that is available to me when I listen to and learn from my own inner wisdom. Her intuition, discernment and encouragement have taught me to trust my own intuition—creating new paths and possibilities for my life. One of Deborah’s great gifts is helping others respect and connect with their inner guidance and through that connection, to form a deeper, more meaningful bond with the collective wisdom and energy of all.” Ryan

Click here to sign up for a 60-minute
complimentary coaching session with Deborah.

 

What readers say about
the impact of Deborah’s book

“With the same energy and determination she applied in the professional world, Deborah has taken her considerable expertise in human potential and has now set her sights on the largest co-op in the world, humanity. ‘Choose Your Energy, Change Your Life!’ tackles what I believe are the most important questions we each must ask: who am I, where did I come from, why am I here, and what’s love got to do with it (cue Tina Turner)? These are not trivial or philosophical questions for the answers change what we do, why we do it, who and what we love. I am grateful for the opportunity to walk with Deborah on this critical journey.” JD Messenger, Award Winning Author of “11 Days in May: The Conversation That Will Change Your Life”

“To me the great thing about Deborah’s book is how ‘accessible’ she makes the ideas. The Oxygen Mask is probably the single best example. As with so many of the ideas in the book, she explains the principle in such a simple way that it’s got universal application to virtually any reader. I can imagine people having multiple moments of ‘Oh….I get it!’ throughout the book. The stories from her own life as well as stories of her clients’ experiences become stories about all of us—stories about which the reader will think, ‘I am living my own version of this.’ Well done—bravo!” Joe Calloway, Author of “Be The Best At What Matters Most”

Click here to explore Deborah’s book.

© Copyright 2015 DJW Life Coach LLC. All rights reserved.
Posted in All My Blog Posts, Energy Leadership | Tagged , , , , , , | 3 Comments

Are You a Pyromaniac or a Planner?

The comparison between anabolic and catabolic leaders continues with a look at how each approaches everyday circumstances.

Much of the time, catabolic leaders operate in crisis mode—juggling multiple catastrophes and putting out fires because they wait until situations have veered way off track before addressing them. This reactivity leads to stress, lack of focus and a non-productive, frenzied atmosphere for themselves and everyone around them. They don’t think much about where they’re headed and, even if they do, the “big picture” gets lost in the demands of the moment.

Fighting Fires

In contrast, anabolic leaders look ahead and make a plan. They know what they want to achieve and have a plan for getting there. Not only do they have a plan that they share with others and participate in fully themselves, they hold the other contributors accountable for doing what they said they will do when they say they will do it.

Let’s take a closer look at these two additional components of anabolic leadership—having a plan and holding everyone involved in executing it accountable—beginning with you.

It’s often said that if you don’t know where you’re going, any road will take you there. The first step in having a plan is creating the vision of where you want to go. That vision is the ideal but it’s vitally important to realize that getting from where you are to where you want to go may not be possible overnight. To get there, you need a roadmap or plan of action that consists of myriad baby steps.

Once the plan is agreed upon, the crucial aspect of accountability comes into play. Accountability involves helping team members understand and honor the commitments they make. An anabolic leader creates a system of checking in with the people who are implementing a plan to make sure that they’re taking action and that the plan is leading in the expected direction.

If they are not taking the agreed upon action, an anabolic leader doesn’t blame, but instead works on helping the team members overcome any blocks. And, if it turns out the plan needs adjusting because it won’t lead to the desired destination, an anabolic leader embraces the change as an opportunity to learn, grow and succeed.

The skills of creating attainable action plans and holding people accountable for carrying them out aren’t only useful in a business environment. Imagine working with your children to create a plan on how to tackle heavy school workloads. Then following up to make sure they’ve taken the actions they agreed to, in contrast to yelling at them to study the night before final exams. Or collaborating with a team to prepare for and execute the many interdependent tasks of an annual church auction.

Learning and practicing the skills of planning and accountability will strengthen your anabolic leadership traits in ways that will delight you and those around you.

To learn how to enhance your planning and accountability skills, sign up below for a 60-minute complimentary coaching session.

Web copy used by permission. No reproduction or retransmission is permitted without expressed written consent of Bruce D Schneider and the Institute for Professional Excellence in Coaching (iPEC). ©2006-2016 Institute for Professional Excellence in Coaching (iPEC)

 

FREE Coaching Opportunity
($250 VALUE)

If someone offered you a precious gift for an hour of your time, would you be interested? That’s what I offer with a Complimentary Coaching Session. A comp session isn’t a brief demo or sample. It’s a full 45-minute coaching session focused on current real life challenges of your choosing plus 15 minutes to discuss your experience and any questions you may have about my approach to coaching.

There is no expectation or pressure to hire me as your ongoing coach. Providing meaningful, substantive comp sessions with no obligation is one of the ways I demonstrate gratitude and give back to the Universe a small portion of the abundance and opportunity it bestows on me daily.

The real value of a comp session? PRICELESS! 

Those who have experienced comp sessions will tell you, when you come to your session open to the possibilities for transformation and fully committed to your own growth, big breakthroughs can happen!

FREE Coaching Session

What clients say about
the power of coaching with Deborah 

“I knew Deborah before she became a Professional Life Coach. I’ve been amazed at how she has changed her life. When I decided it was time to begin making decisions about the next phase of my life, I knew immediately that Deborah was the person I wanted to work with. Her personal and professional experiences help her guide clients through coaching in a way that is individualized and delightfully eye-opening. Her warmth and sensitivity are immediately apparent, even over the phone. With gentle encouragement and permission, she will guide you through an examination of your life, including difficult experiences. She will help you gain insight from your past choices and then explore possibilities for moving forward in less encumbered ways. When you work with Deborah, your life will take on new meaning and your potential will be limitless!” Chris

“The work I did with Deborah continues to change my life. While I have learned many valuable lessons from her, the greatest was the deep insight that is available to me when I listen to and learn from my own inner wisdom. Her intuition, discernment and encouragement have taught me to trust my own intuition—creating new paths and possibilities for my life. One of Deborah’s great gifts is helping others respect and connect with their inner guidance and through that connection, to form a deeper, more meaningful bond with the collective wisdom and energy of all.” Ryan

Click here to sign up for a 60-minute
complimentary coaching session with Deborah.

 

What readers say about
the impact of Deborah’s book

“With the same energy and determination she applied in the professional world, Deborah has taken her considerable expertise in human potential and has now set her sights on the largest co-op in the world, humanity. ‘Choose Your Energy, Change Your Life!’ tackles what I believe are the most important questions we each must ask: who am I, where did I come from, why am I here, and what’s love got to do with it (cue Tina Turner)? These are not trivial or philosophical questions for the answers change what we do, why we do it, who and what we love. I am grateful for the opportunity to walk with Deborah on this critical journey.” JD Messenger, Award Winning Author of “11 Days in May: The Conversation That Will Change Your Life”

“To me the great thing about Deborah’s book is how ‘accessible’ she makes the ideas. The Oxygen Mask is probably the single best example. As with so many of the ideas in the book, she explains the principle in such a simple way that it’s got universal application to virtually any reader. I can imagine people having multiple moments of ‘Oh….I get it!’ throughout the book. The stories from her own life as well as stories of her clients’ experiences become stories about all of us—stories about which the reader will think, ‘I am living my own version of this.’ Well done—bravo!” Joe Calloway, Author of “Be The Best At What Matters Most”

Click here to explore Deborah’s book.

© Copyright 2015 DJW Life Coach LLC. All rights reserved.
Posted in All My Blog Posts, Energy Leadership | Tagged , , , , , , | 1 Comment