When You Dream Big, You Plant the Seeds of OUR Future!

The Sky's the LimitWhen the Wright brothers first dreamed of flying, they were told it couldn’t be done. Many had tried and failed. For two men who didn’t even have high school diplomas, creating a “flying machine” was indeed a very big dream.

If the Wright brothers had listened to the voice of reason—endlessly embodied by the many pragmatists surrounding them—they would never have gotten off the ground. Quite possibly none of the rest of us would have either!

Their growing list of crash reports was proof aplenty to their skeptics that human beings just were not meant to fly.  After the Army failed to get their plane off the ground as well, The New York Times reported that it might be another 10 million years before a working airplane could be built.

A common substantiation for our innate inability to fly went something like this, “If God had meant us to fly, wouldn’t he have given us wings?” That question, like so many of our fear-based limiting beliefs, grossly underestimates God’s creativity and magnitude. What if, instead of just giving us physical wings, God gave us the gift of imagination. So that we might not just figure out how to fly, we would also discover how to soar in myriad other ways as well? 

Fortunately, the Wright brothers didn’t give up.  While others were limited by an unwillingness to fully exercise their imaginations, Wilbur and Orville were not. Wilbur and Orville had a dream. They imagined the impossible and, by dreaming big, they planted the seeds and blazed the trail to their future.

Because they were determined to make their dream a reality, Wilbur and Orville did. Like the bumble bee, that, based on the “laws” of aerodynamics, shouldn’t be able to fly, the Wright brothers transcended conventional wisdom and limiting beliefs to manifest their destiny.

Instead of becoming discouraged by “failed” attempts, they understood that each perceived failure was bringing them a step closer to the precise way in which they would ultimately succeed. A mere eight days after The Times had predicted that humans might be grounded for many more millenia, the Wright brothers achieved their first successful flight. Thanks to their creativity and persistence, flying—once considered something only birds could do—has become commonplace.

Before anything can exist, we first need to imagine it. Let your imagination soar. What might you begin creating today if you started letting yourself dream big? Let ‘er rip! We need you!

When you dream big, you don’t just plant the seeds of your future. You plant the seeds of OUR future!

Click here to visit my TAPPING/EFT portal
Click here to visit my BOOK portal
Click here to visit my RADIO SHOW portal
© Copyright 2014 DJW Life Coach LLC. All rights reserved.
Posted in All My Blog Posts, Authenticity & Purpose, Creativity & Self-Expression | Tagged , , , , , | Leave a comment

Optimizing Your Response Ability: The Equanimity Scan

Self MasteryIn this life, the only thing for which you have complete responsibility and over which you have complete control is your chosen perspective and response. All other forms of control are illusions, at best.

Yet, despite our best efforts, any of us can become anxious and irritated when overwhelmed by stress and ancient self-destructive scripts. Reinforced by “gremlins”—those sabotaging voices in our heads repeating nasty messages of limitation and lack—our discouraging thoughts and feeling quickly edge out any memory of how to operate from love and light.

In chapter 6 of my book, Choose Your Energy: Change Your Life!, I talk at some length about how gremlins show up in relation to your “personal board of directors.” Your three-member board—sage, guardian, and muse—is a useful construct for sorting your vast array of gifts, passions, options, fears, and coping mechanisms into three distinct though interrelated subsets to reduce the complexity of understanding what you’re experiencing in each moment and the specific path to finding greater equanimity.

When fueled by love, you can trust your board’s discernment—reasoning and intuition—to help you foster equanimity and access your deepest wisdom to reveal and advance the highest good for all, in all, through all. They do this by creating a moment-by-moment custom blend of competencies that varies based on the optimal mix for the opportunities in each life situation.

In contrast, when they switch to fear as their fuel instead of love, your board members’ gremlin personas take over and they block your forward progress by focusing their energies on infighting, backbiting, and one-upmanship on a grand scale.

When they first give birth to their gremlin personas, their mission is simple: to protect us from ever again experiencing painful or embarrassing situations. As we get older and our lives become more complex, our sages, guardians, and muses see that many situations, while different in details, offer the same opportunity for pain. As their fears continue to grow, so do the possibilities for gremlin interference by board members who expand their job definition to include any situation or person who could ever lead to discomfort. Talk about limiting our world. The great irony is that when in the grip of fear, gremlins will do whatever it takes—including some very underhanded tactics—in order to protect us from the potential danger “out there.” In this way, they become the enemy within.

In this context, the term gremlin is used as a metaphor for a part of you that is neither inherently evil nor intentionally harmful but a deeply rooted pattern of behavior triggered by your oldest most painful scenarios and a deep need to protect yourself by any means necessary. In short, they keep you small because they believe that is what safe looks like.

Remember that their gremlin activity is actually good news. It means you are on the verge of a big breakthrough in personal growth. Your sage, guardian, or muse “go gremlin” because they are afraid they won’t be able to keep you safe when you get that big. Remember the steps to soothing their fears:

  • Seek to understand what old concerns have been brought out of hiding.
  • Help them differentiate the remnants of past pain from today’s reality.
  • Remind them that small does not necessarily equal safe for an adult.
  • Clarify that following your authentic path with love and without fear is what safe looks like now.
  • Harness their loyalty.
  • Leverage their core gifts of discernment, discipline, and imagination to keep moving yourself forward into a life you love.

A real-time Equanimity Scan can help you identify specifically where your personal board members have become derailed by fear and how love might help them get back on track.

Below you will find a snapshot of the worksheet used for the scan. In my book, Choose Your Energy: Change Your Life!, I provide a variety of scans to help you recognize when you are out of alignment and get yourself back on track, including the Equanimity Scan. Click here to download a FREE full-size, color version of my Equanimity Scan, along with full-size, color versions of all of the other illustrations and scans included in my book.

Equanimity Scan

The Equanimity Scan consists of a five-step process, with each step grounded in caring enough about yourself to do the following:

  • Pay attention so that you notice quickly whenever fear creeps into your board’s energetic mix.
  • Invest your energy in assessing the root cause of the fear. Using the fears and synonyms listed on the left side of the form, identify which member or members may have become dysfunctional based on which fears align most closely with the way that member is wired. Realize that in any given difficult situation, one, two, or all three members may have fallen into the grips of their own particular fears. Understanding what’s gotten each of them riled up is the best way to begin determining what can restore each of them to love and wholeness.
  • Once you have identified the root fears at work, the love alternatives, and the board members involved, determine what baby steps will strengthen the presence of love in your board’s energetic mix based on the scan’s indicator of how to restore love. Especially in the case of the guardian, make sure any “plan” is a baby step and not an eighty-seven-point fifteen-year plan in fifteen-minute increments. Such a detailed plan might thrill the guardian, but it will introduce a new challenge as it sends the sage and muse screaming into the night. Likewise, overdoing it with the sage or muse is likely to throw one or both of the other two members into a tizzy. The optimal realignment approach will take into account the entire board as individuals and a team. The plan will be infused with understanding, balance, and harmony.
  • Hold yourself accountable for following through on your commitment to take action.
  • Assess your result and continuously refine and expand your action plan to maximize the presence of love and minimize the presence of fear in your board members’ execution of their daily responsibilities.

Respecting your feelings enough to notice them and then demonstrating curiosity and compassion about them, rather than continuing to tell yourself to suck it up and stop being a wimp, will result in far greater emotional equilibrium and resilience in the face of life’s ups and downs. You’re worth the effort!

Click here to visit my TAPPING/EFT portal
Click here to visit my BOOK portal
Click here to visit my RADIO SHOW portal
© Copyright 2014 DJW Life Coach LLC. All rights reserved.
Posted in All My Blog Posts, Curiosity, Respect & Compassion, Love, Fear & Gremlins, Stress, Perfectionism & Burnout | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Living Your Authentic Life Without Regret

r2g-p3-Thumbtack-webIn her best-selling book, The Top Five Regrets of the Dying, Hay House author Bronnie Ware says the number one regret reported by those she attended as a hospice nurse is, “I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.”

Why are we so reluctant to allow ourselves to be who we fully came here to be? It seems foolhardy to try to be anyone else—clearly we’re not equipped to succeed.

When coaching clients who say they long to live more authentically, I start by helping them affirm that they have the necessary permission, passion and power to manifest their purpose. Like life in general, the process is not linear. We work all four elements (permission, passion, power and purpose) iteratively in whatever order the client has energy for them. Often, if they can identify and release their passion and power, their purpose begins to emerge. Bolstered by that increased clarity and confidence, they feel able to grant themselves the permission to pursue the authentic life they dream of.

Here are six great exercises for identifying your own natural talents and passions. Do whichever ones pique your curiosity.

  • List all the things you object to in your current life and brainstorm the opportunities revealed by those objections.
  • List the top 10 things you love about your current life and the top 10 things you detest about it.
  • List what attracts you to your current life and what you find yourself resisting.
  • List what you’re really good at and what you consider yourself horrible at.
  • List what you love about yourself and which of your attributes/habits most frustrate you (and everyone around you).
  • List the kinds of projects/activities you adore and those you abhor.

Explore the results of the different exercises to identify patterns which point to conclusions concerning your greatest natural talents and passions. Then brainstorm how your particular talents and passions might be combined into ways you could fulfill your purpose. Here are three great questions to help unleash any remaining blocks:

  • What would you dare to do with your life if you knew you couldn’t fail?
  • What would you love to do with your life if you knew you could make a living at it?
  • What would you do with your life if you didn’t need to make any money doing it?
  • What would you start doing with your life tomorrow if you didn’t care what anyone else thought?

If you’ve identified your purpose and you know you have the passion and power to manifest it, but you still won’t let yourself do so, consider whether there’s someone in your life that might feel threatened or reject you if you live your authentic purpose. This is one of the most common barriers people have to letting themselves be who they are at their core. They are afraid they will experience rejection and abandonment by those they love if they are true to themselves. Now ask yourself, when you’re on your deathbed, whether you’ll be glad you lived a lackluster life to maintain the good opinion and company of someone who doesn’t respect you enough to let you be you. If you finally have the guts to say “enough already” by vacating the stressful space that insecure person is taking up in your life, who knows what truly loyal compatriot you might finally make room for!

The second big barrier is fear of failure. But here’s the thing with being stopped by that fear. If you don’t try, you definitely won’t succeed. If you give it your best shot, you’ve got a greater chance of success than if you continue to hide your light under a bushel. And, if the first approaches don’t work, maybe, like Edison, the Wright brothers and so many other famous inventors (who failed many times before succeeding), your seeming breakdowns will point the way to your unique, one-in-a-million, breakthrough solution.

Once you’ve given yourself permission, identified your passions and embraced your power to pursue your purpose, what about a plan for manifestation? If you’ve been following my posts for any period of time, you’ll know by now that I’m a huge fan of simple plans consisting of myriad baby steps toward interim, no-excuses possible, minimalist goals. How and why could such minimal goals ever work? Isn’t bigger always better? Not necessarily.

Substantive, sustainable improvement of any sort is usually grounded in incremental improvement, not rapid leaps and bounds. Celebrate every step forward, no matter how small. If you exceed your no-excuses goal, that will result in even greater celebration. Force and extreme deprivation are not necessary. Excessive goals result in disenchantment, illness, injury and burnout. Easy goals lead to easy success that fuels lasting motivation for a lifetime of even greater success.

Commit to one small baby step that will move you closer to the life you dream of. Letting any shifts be as organic as possible is key to substantive, lasting transformation. Appreciate any progress—no amount is too inconsequential to celebrate. Each step forward is an important opportunity to stop, consider what you’ve learned, examine your new tools, realize your new strengths, and embrace with gratitude the joy that will take you to the next step. Celebrating each success is key to fostering the constructive core energy that will keep moving you forward. Noticing and demonstrating love, respect, curiosity, compassion, and gratitude for any resistance to change is as important to moving forward as celebrating your successes.

Your greatest fulfillment in life will come from living your authentic life. In every situation, love yourself enough to pay attention to every aspect of your life. Respect everything you are experiencing—what you are thinking, feeling, deciding, saying, and doing. Determine whether the energy underneath is love or fear. If it’s love, you are probably on your authentic path. If it’s fear, demonstrate compassion for yourself. Foster gratitude by reminding yourself that everything is an opportunity. Then further neutralize the fear by bringing curiosity to bear. Explore every aspect of the situation, especially your internal landscape, and identify all of the opportunities available to you through this unique experience. As with any new skill, practice will help this way of being become a healthy new habit—your automatic response to every situation.

In summary, figure out what you want, understand whether it’s fueled by fear, transform any fear into love, set your intention, take a baby step, and celebrate each success with a grateful heart.

One of the greatest gifts I can give anyone is having the honesty and courage to see and share myself fully so that we both might benefit from our shared insight, compassion, and good humor—failures, resilience, victories. We are here to help each other grow by sharing without reservation the only thing we have to give—our authentic selves.

Be yourself—everyone else is already taken! 

Click here to visit my TAPPING/EFT portal
Click here to visit my BOOK portal
Click here to visit my RADIO SHOW portal
© Copyright 2014 DJW Life Coach LLC. All rights reserved.
Posted in All My Blog Posts, Authenticity & Purpose, Creativity & Self-Expression, Force, Flow & Baby Steps | Tagged , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Self-Care Isn’t Selfish: The Sensory Balance Scan

Taking Care of YourselfIn our busy lives, we can fall into the habit of taking care of everyone and everything else before we take care of ourselves. When we focus first on taking care of our careers and homes, our friends, loved ones, clients and bosses, our own needs can fall to the bottom (or completely off) of our “to do” lists.

Though we become more and more irritated, exhausted and disillusioned by living this way, we remain prisoners to this pattern by telling ourselves that we would be selfish (meaning “bad”) to take care of ourselves before anyone or anything else is fully handled.

While this misperception is a common one, it is, nonetheless, a fear-fueled lie. I know because I learned the hard way by living this particular lie for more than 50 years, when I finally ended up burned out, 80 pounds overweight and clinically depressed.

One of the problems with not taking care of our health is that the effects of ignoring it are often slow to show up. We continue to juggle family responsibilities, work, and finances until we lose ourselves, waking up one day fifty pounds heavier in body and soul. When we spend our lives not taking care of ourselves, eventually we are no good to ourselves or anyone else. We cannot share anything of lasting value with others by giving from an empty well. 

Through healing and self-exploration, I discovered that loving and taking care of myself is one of the greatest gifts I can ever give myself or anyone else, because when I nurture and cherish myself, my very presence encourages and supports others. When I’m not taking care of myself, I’m not able to give my best to anyone or anything. I may put on a good show, but it will be a pale imitation of the real thing. When we learn to treat ourselves with love in every moment, then—and only then—will we find ourselves able to be of genuine service to others.

The solution is to take care of yourself WHILE you take care of others. Don’t wait to handle everything else first, only allowing yourself whatever scraps of energy remain. Instead, make time each day to rest, reflect and play. In the long run, this way of living will not only help you take better care of yourself, it will help you take better care of everyone and everything else you hold dear.

To help yourself remain mindful of this healthier new habit, try incorporating relevant affirmations that anchor your desire for balanced self-care. Here are three of my personal favorites:

  • I nurture, encourage and delight myself in healthy ways.
  • I do not give from an empty well. I renew and empower my body, mind, heart and soul with rest, reflection and play.
  • I live in harmony, promoting sensory balance through mindfulness, wisdom and love.

What do I mean by sensory balance? On my own journey to wholeness, I realized that sensory balance plays a key role in living a balanced, empowered life. Like the framing in a home, our outer and inner senses build on our energetic foundation to provide the day-to-day infrastructure for a life of flow securely grounded in constructive core energy. Sensory balance involves feeding all of our senses in healthy, balanced ways so that no one sense takes over trying to fill voids it can never hope to fill. This begins with mindfully feeding our five outer senses, through which we celebrate our world, and it extends to intentionally feeding our four inner senses of creativity, vitality, spirituality, and belonging, through which we imbue our experience with meaning.

If despite your best efforts, from time to time you find yourself starting to feel out of sorts or worn down, a real-time Sensory Balance Scan can help you identify which aspects of your thinking would benefit from recalibration and what form that might take.

Below you will find a snapshot of the worksheet used for the scan. In my book, Choose Your Energy: Change Your Life!, I provide a variety of scans to help you recognize when you are out of alignment and get yourself back on track, including the Sensory Balance Scan. Click here to download a FREE full-size, color version of my Sensory Balance Scan, along with full-size, color versions of all of the other illustrations and scans included in my book.

Sensory Balance Scan

The Sensory Balance Scan consists of a five-step process, with each step grounded in caring enough about yourself to do the following:

  • Pay attention so that you notice quickly whenever you’ve drifted into a state of sensory imbalance due to starving and/or gorging one or more of your nine senses. Realize that gorging one or more of your senses is likely to indicate starving one or more and vice versa.
  • Invest your energy in assessing the root cause of the imbalance, paying special attention to any fear underneath what you are thinking, feeling, saying, and doing.
  • Determine what baby steps will strengthen the presence of love in your reality and restore balance to the way you are feeding your senses: quality, quantity, and frequency.
  • Hold yourself accountable for following through on your commitment to take action.
  • Assess your results and continuously refine and expand your action plan to maximize the presence of love and minimize the presence of fear, thereby restoring harmony and encouraging sensory balance.

Having gotten honest with myself, if the results of the scan indicate there is something significant to explore but I don’t yet feel able to go deeper, I demonstrate respect and compassion by not forcing myself. I relax into exactly where I am on my journey. Caring enough about myself to notice and explore potential imbalances plants the seed for emerging insights. Whenever I invest my energy in conducting the scan, I’ve already taken an additional step toward recognizing unresolved fear inside me and moving myself forward on my personal journey to wholeness.

A powerful way to turn on the light of love within you and keep it burning brightly is to ask yourself many times each day, “If I were my own beloved child or valued client, how would I take care of me right now?” What’s one simple way you will commit to taking better care of YOURSELF today? 

Click here to visit my TAPPING/EFT portal
Click here to visit my BOOK portal
Click here to visit my RADIO SHOW portal
© Copyright 2014 DJW Life Coach LLC. All rights reserved.
Posted in All My Blog Posts, Falling in Love With Yourself, Joy & Vitality, Love, Fear & Gremlins | Tagged , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

The Labor of Love

Pennies From HeavenAs Labor Day approaches, I encountered this poster and it brought to mind one of the favorite maxims of my British-born great-grandmother, Jane Adams, “Pray as if everything depends on God. Work as if everything depends on you.”

Granny lived her pray/work maxim with every fiber of her being. She was a woman of great faith AND she was a hard worker. After her church organist husband ran off with her best friend, Granny worked tirelessly to raise their three children on her own. During the Great Depression, she took in her adult daughter and granddaughter (my beloved Nan and cherished Mother), along with her adult son and grandson (both of whom suffered severe alcoholism). At some point, I believe she also took in her other adult daughter and grandson.

The legacy of strong faith coupled with hard work is one she, and many of my other ancestors, passed on to my brother and me. You may legitimately level a variety of criticisms at members of the Wells tribe, but we are each people of faith (though the specific forms vary) and none of us are slackers. On the contrary, our difficulties are found in the realms of overworking and overdoing without sufficient respect for the value of rest, reflection and play.

So what about this question of praying as if everything depends on God and working as if everything depends on me? Abundance is available to each of us 24-7. We don’t earn it by good works or even hard work. 

The question is whether we choose to ignore or thwart it out of cluelessness or fear, or to access it freely on demand through mindfulness and willingness to align our core energy with the essence of God within us. When we are aligned with unconditional love, respect, curiosity, compassion and gratitude, our every breath fosters generous, effortless, gracious flow filled with faith, hope, prosperity, peace and joy. Prayer and meditation aren’t about convincing or begging God to get on board with your agenda. They’re about fostering your alignment with the essential Divine agenda already dwelling within you.

True prosperity is not about material wealth—material wealth is ephemeral and illusory at best. It comes and goes. True prosperity is about the treasure within—the one which endures and is worth so much more than gold or precious gems. The ability to embrace Divine grace in each moment and remain calm, lucid and wise—not tossed about by today’s external drama and trauma—is the most valuable and powerful gift God has endowed us with.

God says, “Lo, I am with you and within you always. There’s no need to cajole or flatter me, to try to barter or be perfect. Just remember that I am your Source—excellent, limitless and reliable. No external force can block your highest good (only you can do that, and, even then, only temporarily). Universal abundance flows to and through you in each moment—everything’s an opportunity. Simply remember that I am God, you are God’s and love is indeed the greatest power in the Universe. And that Universal love, by its very nature, is always unfolding the highest good for all, in all, through all.”

So where does hard work come into the picture? When work is fueled by love, respect, curiosity, compassion and gratitude, we demonstrate our alignment with the essence of the Divine. That alignment helps us to play our part in revealing and advancing the highest good. Through love-fueled work, we embody the Divine here on earth in human form—the hearts, minds, hands and feet of God. In that sacred space, we allow ourselves access to the full array of God’s wisdom and grace, so that we may paint with the full palette of God.

But when we choose to fuel our work with fear, contempt, shame, competition and a sense of limitation and lack, we miss the mark. Having chosen to forget the nature of the indwelling God, we block ourselves from accessing the Divine wisdom, creativity and power within us. We lock God’s palette in a closet and lose the key.

Temporarily. Because all it takes to escape that hamster wheel approach to life is to realize that our thinking has become fearful and small, become curious about the limiting beliefs fueling those illusions and embrace them with compassion for our humanity. Then, having found the key again by remembering that we are spiritual beings choosing to have a human experience (not human beings reaching about in the dark for a fleeting spiritual experience), we remember who we are and Whose we are. We realign our energy with God’s energy and regain access to faith, hope, prosperity, peace and joy.

In that state of grace, we know once again the optimal answers to the ever-present questions of what to do, why, when, how, how much, with and for whom. When we choose to live as expressions of the Divine here on earth, we freely give and receive, so that all may live in harmony, prosperity and love.

Once restored to that state of grace, we also remember that not taking care of ourselves demonstrates the greatest disrespect for the Divine gift of human life. If we value the opportunity we’ve been given to be spiritual beings having a human experience, we will do everything in our power to cherish and care for our human “vehicle” mentally, physically, emotionally and spiritually. The owner’s manual advises that we nurture, encourage and delight ourselves in healthy ways. Because, when we don’t take care of ourselves, eventually we’re no good to ourselves or anyone else. We can give nothing of significant and lasting value from an empty well. Nutrition, exercise, rest, reflection and play are as important to the purpose of our presence here as the activities we more typically label as “work.” They are equally important aspects of the jobs we’ve been sent here to do—manifesting our unique forms of Divinely sourced greatness. 

So, Madam Primer Minister, if your use of the term “heaven” is meant to be a synonym for Divine supply, then I respectfully beg to differ with your conclusion. The only pennies with any lasting worth for me are the ones that are sourced in the Divine. My ability to access those pennies and other forms of Divinely sourced abundance, is grounded in my ability to align myself with the core attributes of the Divine. And then to demonstrate my gratitude and respect for my role by discerning, focusing and following through in each moment. Whatever my circumstances, my job is to remember who I am and Whose I am. I am a unique cocreative expression of the Divine. How could that ever not be enough? Show up, bring your “A” game, trust God with the details!

May you grant yourself time for rest, reflection and play on Labor Day and every day. You are a precious natural resource not to be taken for granted. You are the only YOU we’ve got. Behave accordingly! 

Click here to visit my TAPPING/EFT portal
Click here to visit my BOOK portal
Click here to visit my RADIO SHOW portal
© Copyright 2014 DJW Life Coach LLC. All rights reserved.
Posted in All My Blog Posts, Authenticity & Purpose, Creativity & Self-Expression, Faith, Hope & Spirituality, Gratitude, Prosperity & Abundance, Stress, Perfectionism & Burnout | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Lighten Your Load: The Core Energy Scan

How to Lighten Your LoadGetting the blues occasionally is common. I know first-hand how debilitating long-term discouragement can become if left unchecked, having suffered multiple episodes of depression in my lifetime. 

During my 30 years as an organization transformation consultant, I served as a senior partner in four of the world’s largest, most prestigious global professional services firms. In 2005, I took a five-year sabbatical to find healing and peace because non-stop work had taken its toll. My recovery from burnout, including a sustained 80-pound weight loss and freedom from 10 years of debilitating depression, led to finding my purpose guiding others on their journeys. Through healing and self-exploration, I discovered that loving yourself unconditionally is the key to transforming your personal life, your work and the world:

  • Approaching life with love, respect, curiosity and compassion always reveals and advances the highest good, for all, in all, through all.
  • Gratitude for Universal abundance anchors each moment in generous, effortless, gracious flow filled with faith, hope, prosperity, peace and joy.

Love, respect, curiosity, compassion, and gratitude are not just five woo-woo, New Age words I pulled out of thin air because they sounded Zen and cool. They were revealed to me individually, real-time as I lived through the phases of my own dramatic and highly personal transformation. The formula for making them a way of life is simple to explain.

In every situation, love yourself enough to pay attention to every aspect of your life. Respect everything you are experiencing—what you are thinking, feeling, deciding, saying, and doing. Determine whether the energy underneath is love or fear. If it’s love, you are probably on your authentic path. If it’s fear, demonstrate compassion for yourself. Foster gratitude by reminding yourself that everything is an opportunity.

Then further neutralize the fear by bringing curiosity to bear. Explore every aspect of the situation, especially your internal landscape, and identify all of the opportunities available to you through this unique experience. As with any new skill, practice will help this way of being become a healthy new habit—your automatic response to every situation.

In summary, figure out what you want, understand whether it’s fueled by fear, transform any fear into love, set your intention, and then get ready to receive it, because it will happen.

With this rudimentary understanding of the roles of love, respect, curiosity, compassion, and gratitude in fostering constructive core energy and manifesting a life of flow, you are better equipped to notice when any one of the big five would benefit from recalibration and what form that might take. When, despite your best efforts, you become discouraged because you’ve temporarily strayed from the path of loving yourself unconditionally, a real-time Core Energy Scan can help you identify which aspects of your thinking would benefit from recalibration and what form that might take.

Below you will find a snapshot of the worksheet used for the scan. In my book, Choose Your Energy: Change Your Life!, I provide a variety of scans to help you recognize when you are out of alignment and get yourself back on track, including the Core Energy Scan. Click here to download a FREE full-size, color version of my Core Energy Scan, along with full-size, color versions of all of the other illustrations and scans included in my book.

Core Energy Scan

The Core Energy Scan consists of a five-step process, with each step grounded in caring enough about yourself to do the following: 

  • Pay attention so that you notice quickly whenever fear creeps into your energetic mix.
  • Invest your energy in assessing the root cause of the fear.
  • Determine what baby steps will strengthen the presence of love in your reality.
  • Hold yourself accountable for following through on your commitment to take action.
  • Assess your results and continuously refine and expand your action plan to maximize the presence of love and minimize the presence of fear in the core energy with which you fuel your life.

Having gotten honest with myself, if the results of the scan indicate there is something significant to explore but I don’t yet feel able to go deeper, I demonstrate respect and compassion by not forcing myself. I relax into exactly where I am on my journey. Caring enough about myself to notice and explore my unhappiness plants the seed for emerging insights. Whenever I invest my energy in conducting the scan, I’ve already taken an additional step toward recognizing unresolved fear inside me and moving myself forward on my personal journey to wholeness.

You are worth the effort. With practice, you will turn unconditional self-love into a healthy new habit that will become a way of life. When love takes over your core energy, you will begin building the less stressful, more fulfilling life you dream of.

The only person controlling your life is you. Turn unexplored possibilities into fulfilling realities by harnessing the transformative power of love to step into your greatness. Choose your energy and change your life! 

Here’s a bonus tool for turning your mood around when you feel down. It’s a proven best practice for boosting your sense of hope and fostering a spirit of optimism and gratitude. It’s much more effective than consuming a pint of ice cream in one sitting. What’s this powerful technique?

Lend a helping hand to someone else in need.

Nothing cures the blues like taking your eyes off yourself and reaching out to help another. I have a client who used volunteering to help heal herself from the severe depression that followed her husband’s many years of suffering and death from cancer. While she was working with me to learn how to demonstrate unconditional love, respect, curiosity, compassion and gratitude for herself and her painful journey in each moment, she also reached out with passion and commitment to help others in need in her local community.

When you serve others—and help lighten their loads—you make a difference. Knowing you’ve had a constructive impact in someone else’s life provides you a renewed sense of meaning and accomplishment.

Next time things aren’t going your way and you are starting to feel down, in addition to conducting a Core Energy Scan to strengthen your demonstration of unconditional love for yourself, try doing something kind for someone else as well. It may be as simple as paying a compliment to a stranger or holding the door for a parent with a small child. Not only will you make that person’s day, you just may make your day too.

Who do you know that could use a helping hand today? Whose burden can you help lighten right now?

Click here to visit my TAPPING/EFT portal
Click here to visit my BOOK portal
Click here to visit my RADIO SHOW portal
© Copyright 2014 DJW Life Coach LLC. All rights reserved.
Posted in All My Blog Posts, Curiosity, Respect & Compassion, Falling in Love With Yourself, Joy & Vitality | Tagged , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

No Such Thing as Good Luck

Earning Your LuckMerriam-Webster defines “luck” as “the things that happen to a person because of chance: the accidental way things happen without being planned.” This definition is one of the reasons I avoid using the term. I don’t believe in good luck available to the few. I believe endless good fortune freely accessible to all.

Our Divine Source is excellent, limitless and reliable. No external force can block our highest good. Universal abundance flows to and through all of us 24-7. As singer-songwriter Kathy Mattea observes, so often we choose to “stand knee-deep in a river, dying of thirst.” And, the moment we stop choosing to embrace the victim mindset, we find everything we need to survive, thrive, transform and transcend is completely available to us—it was right there all the time.

The popular myth that to succeed, you must be lucky, undermines our incredible personal power and the role we play in shaping our own destiny. It implies that some are lucky and some aren’t.  This myth, like so many others that sabotage and undermine us, is based in fear-fueled lies.

The truth is, good fortune isn’t found in a four-leaf clover or at the end of a rainbow. Nor does it only flow to those born with the right genes or a trust fund. Good fortune is available to all of us. While it may seem that the people who get “all the breaks” do so effortlessly, when you look deeper, you will find they live with attention and intention.

They remain open to opportunities by demonstrating curiosity, creativity, planning and persistence. They do not engage in forced marches by trying to give from an empty well. They renew and empower their bodies, minds, hearts and souls with rest, reflection and play. They take baby steps, celebrating every inch of progress with a grateful heart. They live in harmony, promoting sensory balance through mindfulness, wisdom and love. And, whatever their circumstances—most especially when things don’t go as they planned—they remain grateful and empowered by remembering who they are and Whose they are. They are unique cocreative expressions of the Divine. How could that ever not be enough?

So how can you realize the essential shift from believing these principles in your head to living them from your heart? Any of us can drift off center occasionally when overwhelmed by stress and gripped by ancient self-destructive scripts. Here are 14 of my favorite tools for recognizing it quickly and getting back on track easily. 

  1. Pay Attention: If you don’t recognize you’re feeling stressed, you can’t change it. Practice mindfulness by noticing what you are thinking, feeling, saying, and doing and figuring out why.
  2. Breathe: Next time things start getting a little crazy, stop, take three deep breaths, become fully present, restore sanity, and realize you have options. Your brain needs oxygen to function effectively. Try setting a timer on your phone or computer to remind you periodically to stop, close your eyes for a minute, and just breathe.
  3. Be Here Now: Forget rehashing the past and agonizing over the future. This moment is your only real opportunity to make a difference. Just you, just here, just now, just be. Perpetual equanimity and fulfillment come from dancing in the moment.
  4. Opportunity Knocks: While life won’t always follow your plans and expectations, everything in life is an opportunity. An opportunity to understand yourself better, open your heart wider, and develop greater compassion for yourself and others. While the details of our lives differ, we all experience the same range of emotions, from fear, frustration, and loneliness to joy, contentment, and peace. With yourself firmly planted in the present moment, it is your ability to respond creatively and constructively that makes the difference.
  5. Get Curious: If everything is an opportunity, where might the opportunity be in this situation? The Universe is far more creative than we can imagine. Assume the best and look for the silver lining in even the darkest cloud.
  6. Talk to Yourself: It is the smartest crazy thing you’ll ever do. It improves your sense of perspective, creativity, and humor. You might discover that what you were dreading isn’t likely to happen or will be much easier than you feared. With a little imagination, it might even be a great opportunity. This tool is particularly effective for constructively engaging, understanding, and motivating your sage, guardian, and muse.
  7. Write It Down: Getting stressful thoughts out of your head and onto paper can also improve your sense of perspective. Often, just putting them in writing reduces them to a more manageable size.
  8. Move It: When in doubt, move about. A gentle walk around the room, the block, or the gym will begin releasing natural tranquilizers and restoring full breathing. It feeds your creativity so you will be able to come up with more resourceful options for handling your situation.
  9. Hydrate: Water fosters flow and sustains life. It composes up to 60 percent of the average human body and covers 70 percent of the earth’s surface. Drink. Shower. Bathe. Swim. Cry. Hydrate yourself in every way imaginable and watch yourself flow through the ups and downs of life with greater flexibility, creativity, and resilience.
  10. Trust Your Gut: You have inside you all the wisdom you seek. Instead of stressing yourself out by fighting your instincts or feeling compelled to justify your hunches with logic, try trusting your intuition instead.
  11. Behave As If: There are two aspects to this one: If you gave yourself the same care and attention you give your friends and loved ones, what support would you give yourself right now? And what would you dare to do if you believed you couldn’t fail?
  12. Take Baby Steps: Slow and steady produces meaningful, lasting results. Vast forced output is rarely sustained. Great strides of lasting value involve myriad baby steps over time. If the conceivers of the Taj Mahal had believed fast was the only way to get there, it would have crumbled in the first storm. Your dreams are the same. Don’t try to take them all on at once. Identify the next small step and take it. Then another and another and another. Before you know it, you will have built your dream, and it will last your whole life through.
  13. Celebrate: Every step forward is a cause for celebration. Every time you move closer to your dreams, pat yourself on the back with a party moment. Ta-da! A steady stream of self-affirmation will continue releasing additional positive fuel to keep you moving forward.
  14. Time for What Matters: Time is not a scarce resource. You have all the time you need for the things that matter. Your sole responsibility in each moment is to discern what matters most right now, to focus, and to follow through. Using the other tools will help clear the way to accessing your deepest wisdom and moving forward, in each moment, with confidence, peace, and joy.

If you resonate to these 14 tools, click here to download my complete eight-part Daily Spiritual Practice Program for FREE ($97 VALUE). It will teach you to shift your life from an endless, exhausting marathon to a journey of generous, effortless, gracious flow filled with faith, hope, prosperity, peace and joy. The principles will help you stay centered and focused today and every day. You’ll learn to decrease effort and increase productivity and joy so you can kiss stress goodbye and make this year your year to shine!

The program is a form of spiritual hygiene that helps you begin your day on a mindful and constructive foundation. It helps you harness the transformative power of love to stay off that “hamster wheel” and start living from love, mindfulness and gratitude. This multi-media program consists of 18 downloadable files (11 audio, 6 print and 1 video), including three guided meditation tracks with and without background music.

While it normally sells for $97, for a limited time, you have the opportunity to download the entire program for FREE!

Click here to explore the possibilities. Make this year one of effortless flow filled with greater faith, hope, prosperity, peace and joy—for yourself and the entire planet!

“I find Deborah’s approach to be unique. Her great advantage is the ability to bring together a strong professional background, a deeply spiritual perspective and a personal character born out of overcoming her own challenges and leveraging her life experiences to support others on their Journeys to Wholeness.” —Lily

Join the other “lucky” people who have learned the secret—that choosing your energy changes every aspect of your life personally and professionally. Perceptions, opportunities, relationships and priorities. Ready to start seeing the goldmine rather than the mine field? The untapped potential buried within any perceived obstacles in your life?

What change in mindset and behavior will you adopt today to inspire and empower yourself and everyone your encounter? Time to reclaim your personal power to turn unexplored possibilities into fulfilling realities and step into your greatness!

Click here to visit my TAPPING/EFT portal
Click here to visit my BOOK portal
Click here to visit my RADIO SHOW portal
© Copyright 2014 DJW Life Coach LLC. All rights reserved.
Posted in All My Blog Posts, Force, Flow & Baby Steps, Gratitude, Prosperity & Abundance, Mindfulness, Meditation & Peace | Tagged , , , , , | Leave a comment