No Such Thing as Good Luck

Earning Your LuckMerriam-Webster defines “luck” as “the things that happen to a person because of chance: the accidental way things happen without being planned.” This definition is one of the reasons I avoid using the term. I don’t believe in good luck available to the few. I believe endless good fortune freely accessible to all.

Our Divine Source is excellent, limitless and reliable. No external force can block our highest good. Universal abundance flows to and through all of us 24-7. As singer-songwriter Kathy Mattea observes, so often we choose to “stand knee-deep in a river, dying of thirst.” And, the moment we stop choosing to embrace the victim mindset, we find everything we need to survive, thrive, transform and transcend is completely available to us—it was right there all the time.

The popular myth that to succeed, you must be lucky, undermines our incredible personal power and the role we play in shaping our own destiny. It implies that some are lucky and some aren’t.  This myth, like so many others that sabotage and undermine us, is based in fear-fueled lies.

The truth is, good fortune isn’t found in a four-leaf clover or at the end of a rainbow. Nor does it only flow to those born with the right genes or a trust fund. Good fortune is available to all of us. While it may seem that the people who get “all the breaks” do so effortlessly, when you look deeper, you will find they live with attention and intention.

They remain open to opportunities by demonstrating curiosity, creativity, planning and persistence. They do not engage in forced marches by trying to give from an empty well. They renew and empower their bodies, minds, hearts and souls with rest, reflection and play. They take baby steps, celebrating every inch of progress with a grateful heart. They live in harmony, promoting sensory balance through mindfulness, wisdom and love. And, whatever their circumstances—most especially when things don’t go as they planned—they remain grateful and empowered by remembering who they are and Whose they are. They are unique cocreative expressions of the Divine. How could that ever not be enough?

So how can you realize the essential shift from believing these principles in your head to living them from your heart? Any of us can drift off center occasionally when overwhelmed by stress and gripped by ancient self-destructive scripts. Here are 14 of my favorite tools for recognizing it quickly and getting back on track easily. 

  1. Pay Attention: If you don’t recognize you’re feeling stressed, you can’t change it. Practice mindfulness by noticing what you are thinking, feeling, saying, and doing and figuring out why.
  2. Breathe: Next time things start getting a little crazy, stop, take three deep breaths, become fully present, restore sanity, and realize you have options. Your brain needs oxygen to function effectively. Try setting a timer on your phone or computer to remind you periodically to stop, close your eyes for a minute, and just breathe.
  3. Be Here Now: Forget rehashing the past and agonizing over the future. This moment is your only real opportunity to make a difference. Just you, just here, just now, just be. Perpetual equanimity and fulfillment come from dancing in the moment.
  4. Opportunity Knocks: While life won’t always follow your plans and expectations, everything in life is an opportunity. An opportunity to understand yourself better, open your heart wider, and develop greater compassion for yourself and others. While the details of our lives differ, we all experience the same range of emotions, from fear, frustration, and loneliness to joy, contentment, and peace. With yourself firmly planted in the present moment, it is your ability to respond creatively and constructively that makes the difference.
  5. Get Curious: If everything is an opportunity, where might the opportunity be in this situation? The Universe is far more creative than we can imagine. Assume the best and look for the silver lining in even the darkest cloud.
  6. Talk to Yourself: It is the smartest crazy thing you’ll ever do. It improves your sense of perspective, creativity, and humor. You might discover that what you were dreading isn’t likely to happen or will be much easier than you feared. With a little imagination, it might even be a great opportunity. This tool is particularly effective for constructively engaging, understanding, and motivating your sage, guardian, and muse.
  7. Write It Down: Getting stressful thoughts out of your head and onto paper can also improve your sense of perspective. Often, just putting them in writing reduces them to a more manageable size.
  8. Move It: When in doubt, move about. A gentle walk around the room, the block, or the gym will begin releasing natural tranquilizers and restoring full breathing. It feeds your creativity so you will be able to come up with more resourceful options for handling your situation.
  9. Hydrate: Water fosters flow and sustains life. It composes up to 60 percent of the average human body and covers 70 percent of the earth’s surface. Drink. Shower. Bathe. Swim. Cry. Hydrate yourself in every way imaginable and watch yourself flow through the ups and downs of life with greater flexibility, creativity, and resilience.
  10. Trust Your Gut: You have inside you all the wisdom you seek. Instead of stressing yourself out by fighting your instincts or feeling compelled to justify your hunches with logic, try trusting your intuition instead.
  11. Behave As If: There are two aspects to this one: If you gave yourself the same care and attention you give your friends and loved ones, what support would you give yourself right now? And what would you dare to do if you believed you couldn’t fail?
  12. Take Baby Steps: Slow and steady produces meaningful, lasting results. Vast forced output is rarely sustained. Great strides of lasting value involve myriad baby steps over time. If the conceivers of the Taj Mahal had believed fast was the only way to get there, it would have crumbled in the first storm. Your dreams are the same. Don’t try to take them all on at once. Identify the next small step and take it. Then another and another and another. Before you know it, you will have built your dream, and it will last your whole life through.
  13. Celebrate: Every step forward is a cause for celebration. Every time you move closer to your dreams, pat yourself on the back with a party moment. Ta-da! A steady stream of self-affirmation will continue releasing additional positive fuel to keep you moving forward.
  14. Time for What Matters: Time is not a scarce resource. You have all the time you need for the things that matter. Your sole responsibility in each moment is to discern what matters most right now, to focus, and to follow through. Using the other tools will help clear the way to accessing your deepest wisdom and moving forward, in each moment, with confidence, peace, and joy.

If you resonate to these 14 tools, click here to download my complete eight-part Daily Spiritual Practice Program for FREE ($97 VALUE). It will teach you to shift your life from an endless, exhausting marathon to a journey of generous, effortless, gracious flow filled with faith, hope, prosperity, peace and joy. The principles will help you stay centered and focused today and every day. You’ll learn to decrease effort and increase productivity and joy so you can kiss stress goodbye and make this year your year to shine!

The program is a form of spiritual hygiene that helps you begin your day on a mindful and constructive foundation. It helps you harness the transformative power of love to stay off that “hamster wheel” and start living from love, mindfulness and gratitude. This multi-media program consists of 18 downloadable files (11 audio, 6 print and 1 video), including three guided meditation tracks with and without background music.

While it normally sells for $97, for a limited time, you have the opportunity to download the entire program for FREE!

Click here to explore the possibilities. Make this year one of effortless flow filled with greater faith, hope, prosperity, peace and joy—for yourself and the entire planet!

“I find Deborah’s approach to be unique. Her great advantage is the ability to bring together a strong professional background, a deeply spiritual perspective and a personal character born out of overcoming her own challenges and leveraging her life experiences to support others on their Journeys to Wholeness.” —Lily

Join the other “lucky” people who have learned the secret—that choosing your energy changes every aspect of your life personally and professionally. Perceptions, opportunities, relationships and priorities. Ready to start seeing the goldmine rather than the mine field? The untapped potential buried within any perceived obstacles in your life?

What change in mindset and behavior will you adopt today to inspire and empower yourself and everyone your encounter? Time to reclaim your personal power to turn unexplored possibilities into fulfilling realities and step into your greatness!

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© Copyright 2014 DJW Life Coach LLC. All rights reserved.
Posted in All My Blog Posts, Force, Flow & Baby Steps, Gratitude, Prosperity & Abundance, Mindfulness, Meditation & Peace | Tagged , , , , , | Leave a comment

Why Playing It Safe Isn’t Safe At All: The Flow Scan

Playing It SafeMany of us think if we dare to try something new or take a risk in order to expand or improve our lives, we won’t make life better, we’ll make it more difficult. 

We tell ourselves it’s easier to stick with the status quo because it’s predictable. Our preference for the familiar is so strong, it’s actually cited as one of the most common reasons people chose to stay in dysfunctional—even abusive—situations and relationships. 

But what if the familiar just isn’t working for you anymore? 

We’ve all heard the saying “insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.” You reach a point where you can no longer escape the truth: you know in your heart what’s really making your life difficult is constraining it with the same old limiting beliefs and destructive habits. Fear is keeping you small—trapped in a lackluster life you’ve come to loathe.

So what if you do recognize the status quo just isn’t working for you anymore? What if you realize it’s keeping you stuck in a life you’ve outgrown? What if you’ve had enough of the familiar and you’re ready to take action to try something new that could help you break through the old barriers of limitation and lack that have been holding you prisoner in a life you abhor?

When the Universe loves you enough to keep pushing you outside your comfort zone, it’s time to embrace the grace you’re being offered, face your fears, stop resisting and open your fearful heart to new possibilities. 

One of my favorite movies of all time is What About Bob? The film is about the transformative archetypal journey of the hero: the lesson that no matter how broken we are, with love and compassion, a dash of courage, a pound of commitment, and a sense of humor, we can do anything. We can learn and grow into happier, healthier people. Every one of us can find deep peace, lasting joy, and meaningful relationships. We do this through a lifetime of never-ending baby steps. Bless his heart, Bob baby steps his way all over the transformative Universe. Each time he pushes past his current limits to try something new, he is delighted. After his first sailing adventure (for which they had to tie him to the mast to get him to participate), he exclaimed to all he met, “I’m a sailor! I sail!”

Ready to live a life of generous, effortless, gracious flow filled with faith, hope, prosperity peace and joy? 

Whenever you have the sense that you are stuck or blocked, a real-time Flow Scan can help you identify which aspects of your thinking would benefit from recalibration and what form that might take.

Below you will find a snapshot of the worksheet used for the scan. In my book, Choose Your Energy: Change Your Life!, I provide a variety of scans to help you recognize when you are out of alignment and get yourself back on track, including the Flow Scan. Click here to download a FREE full-size, color version of my Flow Scan, along with full-size, color versions of all of the other illustrations and scans included in my book.

Flow Scan

The Flow Scan consists of a five-step process, with each step grounded in caring enough about yourself to do the following:

  • Pay attention so that you notice quickly whenever you are feeling stuck.
  • Invest your energy in assessing the fear-based lies and illusions that are blocking you, identifying any feelings of distrust, despair, scarcity, panic, or misery.
  • Determine what baby steps will restore your life to a love-based truth and reality of faith, hope, prosperity, peace, and joy.
  • Hold yourself accountable for following through on your commitment to take action.
  • Assess your results and continuously refine and expand your action plan to fill your reality with the truth of love-based flow and minimize succumbing to the lies and illusions of fear-based blocks.

You’re worth the effort. With practice, you will become adept at noticing whenever you’re feeling stuck or blocked and quickly taking action to restore flow. This way of living mindfully will become a healthy new habit through which you will build the less stressful, more fulfilling life you dream of.

Start today by identifying one small step you can take in the direction of your dreams. Even though trying something risky or new may cause your pulse to quicken and your palms to sweat, the rewards will far outweigh any perceived benefits to simply ‘playing it safe’.  In fact, playing it safe is actually the riskiest path because through it you risk wasting your one precious life. You risk missing entirely the reason you are here. To be who you fully are at your core with delight and abandon. To let your light shine to brighten the way for all of us. You’re the only you we’ve got. A precious natural resource never to be wasted or taken for granted.


Slow and steady produces meaningful, lasting results. Vast forced output is rarely sustained. Great strides of lasting value involve myriad baby steps over time. If the conceivers of the Taj Mahal had believed fast was the only way to get there, it would have crumbled in the first storm.

Easy does it. Letting any shifts be as organic as possible is key to more substantive, longer lasting results. Begin with one tiny baby step toward one small desired change. No amount of progress is too inconsequential to celebrate. Each step forward is an important opportunity to stop, consider what you’ve learned, examine your new tools, realize your new strengths, and embrace with gratitude the joy that will take you to the next step.

Celebrating each success is key to fostering the constructive core energy that will keep moving you forward. Noticing and demonstrating love, respect, curiosity, compassion, and gratitude for any resistance to change is as important to moving forward as celebrating your successes.

Before you know it, you will have left behind your former life of limitation of lack. You will have built your dream and it will last your whole life through. What will you dare to do today with your one precious life?

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Turning Unexplored Possibilities Into Fulfilling Realities

Turning Unexplored Possibilities Into Fulfilling RealitiesMany pursue an education to gain knowledge. But knowledge alone isn’t all that useful. It’s when we apply what we have learned that it becomes most valuable.

Think about all the things you know, but haven’t put into action.  The great aim of education is not to amass vast quantities of information; it’s to take what we know and use it to shape our lives and impact the lives of others for the highest good of all.

But, when you find that even the Nike slogan of “Just do it!” doesn’t spur you into action, then what? What is it, exactly, that keeps us from acting on our greatest passions and most deeply held beliefs?

Many of our blocks are rooted in perfectionism, scarcity mentality and low self-worth. Here are ten of the most common self-imposed barriers that keep us from manifesting our greatest wisdom and deepest truths:

  • Setting the bar too high,
  • Waiting until you know it ALL,
  • Undervaluing baby steps,
  • Overvaluing others’ opinions,
  • Ignoring your intuition,
  • Believing you have nothing to offer,
  • Thinking there’s not enough time,
  • Exhausting yourself through over-achieving,
  • Not asking for help, and
  • In short, fueling yourself with fear rather than love.

While my own tendency toward perfectionism was delaying the release of this post by telling me I needed to write elaborate refutations of each of these barriers to convince you of their falsehood, I recognized yet another fear-fueled lie and decided, in the spirit of Nike, to speak my truth clearly and succinctly—HOGWASH! While fear might temporarily trick us into mistaking its twisted perspective for reality, none of these barriers are based in TRUTH.

Here’s a five-part mindset to help you stop hiding your light under a bushel and instead opt for living an empowered life in each and every moment:

  • Come as you are—Show up and bring the best I have to offer in this moment. Not last year’s best, or next year’s best or someone else’s best. Just the best I’ve got to offer with the love and light I’m giving myself access to at this time. Quit judging myself as insufficient. I am always enough, just as I am right here and now.
  • Live the Truth—God is God, I am God’s and love is the greatest power in the Universe. My Source is excellent, limitless, and reliable. No external force can block my highest good. Universal abundance flows to and through me. Whatever my circumstances, I know who I am and Whose I am. I am a unique cocreative expression of the Divine. How could that ever not be enough?
  • Commit to the highest good—Universal love is always unfolding the highest good for all, in all, through all. Love, respect, curiosity, and compassion reveal and advance the highest good. My part is to align myself with the highest good by keeping myself free of fear and holding myself wide open as a clear channel for love and light. Way cool!
  • Express gratitude—While feeling grateful is a nice start, don’t stop there. Express it to and for every being, encounter, and experience. Appreciate my life. Know that everything’s an opportunity. Expect it. Go looking for it. Notice it. Say, “Thank you!” Gratitude for Universal abundance fosters generous, effortless, gracious flow filled with faith, hope, prosperity, peace, and joy. And it starts with being grateful for every aspect of myself—the attributes that thrill me and those that frustrate me and everyone who knows me. They are all essential elements of my unique cocreative role in expressing the Divine. I totally rock!
  • Trust God with the details—Resist the urge to over-manage the minutiae and end up trapped in the weeds. Even though I’m bright and creative, that level of specificity is way above my pay grade. Remain focused on my responsibilities (the first four parts of the mindset) and stay tuned to the Universal frequency for further instructions on where to go, what to do, when, and with whom. When I discern, focus, and follow through, the Universe works wonders through me. My job becomes so much easier when I allow God to be God!

The next time you learn something new or get a good idea, demonstrate its full value by applying it to your own life for the benefit of all.

What one idea are you itching to put into action with the first itty, bitty baby step, right here and now? Live your truth: just do it!

For more on how to transcend your fears and step into your greatness by learning to love yourself unconditionally, read Choose Your Energy: Change Your Life! (Hay House/Balboa Press 2013). You’ve got nothing to lose, except the limits fear, stress and pain have been placing on your life.

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Posted in All My Blog Posts, Authenticity & Purpose, Creativity & Self-Expression, Force, Flow & Baby Steps, Love, Fear & Gremlins, Stress, Perfectionism & Burnout, The Power of Sharing Your Story | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Daring Greatly

Daring GreatlyCreativity, curiosity and courage are at the root of all freedom. It takes creativity to dream big, curiosity to explore how it might manifest and courage to keeping moving forward–despite your past experience, your current circumstances or the number of naysayers in your life. Once you’ve envisioned your desired future and crafted a plan for getting there, it takes tremendous courage to stay the course no matter what. When you perceive obstacles and the going gets tough, it takes sustained creativity, curiosity and courage to continue pressing on.

Any time you go after what you really want—especially when it involves stepping into the unknown—doubts and fears may surface.  Even if you encounter no external critics, traversing new terrain is a common time for the members of your internal personal board of directors (sage, guardian and muse) to shift into gremlin mode because they’ve started fueling themselves with fear rather than unconditional love. As I share in my book, Choose Your Energy: Change Your Life!,  such situations require lots of deep breathing and self-awareness. 

When my clients report that their fears have reached up and grabbed them by the ankles yet again, I congratulate them. That means you are on the threshold of a big growth spurt, and your sage, guardian, and muse have “gone gremlin” because they are afraid they won’t be able to keep you safe when you get that big. The answer? 

  • Seek to understand what old concerns have been brought out of hiding.
  • Help them differentiate the remnants of past pain from today’s reality.
  • Remind them that small does not necessarily equal safe for an adult.
  • Clarify that following your authentic path with love and without fear is what safe looks like now.
  • Harness their loyalty.
  • Leverage their core gifts of discernment, discipline, and imagination to keep moving yourself forward into a life you love.

I am often asked whether my board’s gremlin energies are stirred up by big opportunities. Yes, when they choose to be gripped by fear, because that is what fear does to us. Their clever and dire warnings include such classics as, “Honey, it’s been hard enough to keep you safe as it is. How are we going to manage to protect you if your presence in the Universe gets any bigger? You do this and you might as well paint a big old bull’s-eye on your back for all the naysayers to aim at. You remember how badly that’s gone in the past, right?”

What do I do when my personal board members—Claire, Ella, and Bee—become freaked out by fear and shift into gremlin mode? I do what I encourage my clients to do. As with so many of the things I coach, the only way I know it works so well is that I have the opportunity to practice it myself with regularity: 

  • Pay attention and breathe.
  • Engage with love, respect, curiosity, compassion, and gratitude.
  • Reassure and redirect.
  • Repeat as necessary. 

The way to develop a stronger rapport with your board members and help them build more constructive working relationships with each other is to pay attention and get curious. For more details on harmonious collaboration with your board, check out chapter 6 of my book, Choose Your Energy: Change Your Life!.

Enjoying greater freedom requires creativity, curiosity and courage. Daring to dream. Daring to plan. Daring to take the first baby step. Daring to keep going and stick with it until your dream becomes a reality.

As you exercise your muscle of daring, you will develop increased strength to forge the path to the greater freedom you seek. The joy of that freedom will be well worth the effort it takes to achieve it!

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Embracing Uncertainty With Enthusiasm

Cross It or Burn It?In life, bridges connect us to the future. They provide passage to new discoveries,  relationships and opportunities.

But crossing a bridge means making a change and change is sometimes uncomfortable. We’re torn between staying where we are and moving forward into the unknown. And often, when given the option to turn back to what is familiar—no matter how uncomfortable or restricting—our desire for predictability and the illusion of control causes us to choose the known rather than the perceived inherent risk of an uncertain and unknown future.

Sometimes, what keeps us from moving forward is that we think we must burn our bridges to the past so that there’s no possibility of ever again returning to enjoy what we once loved and valued. But what if that’s not the case? What if change and growth just involve respecting, honoring and appreciating what has been while remaining wide open and mustering the curiosity and courage to embrace uncertainty with enthusiasm and cross over to discover what will be? While what lies ahead may feel uncertain, what if, as C.S. Lewis said, “There are far, far better things ahead than any we leave behind?”

What bridges are you ready to cross—ones that will allow you to turn unexplored possibilities into fulfilling realities? The journey of 1,000 miles begins with a single step. Taking a baby step in a new direction today will make all the difference! Choose your energy and change your life and the lives of every being and situation you encounter. You’re worth the effort!

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Posted in All My Blog Posts, Curiosity, Respect & Compassion, Force, Flow & Baby Steps, Gratitude, Prosperity & Abundance | Tagged , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Your Daily Dose of Motivation

Your Daily Dose of MotivationWhen was the last time you took a shower? We don’t tend to think that the benefits of one shower will last a month or a lifetime. But we do tend to think that way when it comes to motivation.

Like a nice hot shower, motivation invigorates and inspires. But it’s not something you do once and then you’re done.  You don’t ‘get’ motivated and ‘stay’ motivated.  

For many, intentional self-motivation isn’t a regular aspect of life. It’s a book we keep on our shelf that we pull out from time to time, a quote we read once in a blue moon or a mantra that we tried for an hour, a day or a week and then abandoned. When our productivity or enthusiasm start to wane, or we become royally stressed, we may try getting motivated once again but once the pressure is off, we drift back into our old, less supportive way of living.

What if motivation was built into your daily routine? How would your life change? How would it affect your energy, enthusiasm and ability to celebrate your milestones or press on when things get tough?

When you stop treating self-inspiration as an event and start embracing it as process, a way of being, you’ll find you live in a more centered state of generous, effortless, gracious flow at all times. When you mindfully fuel your core energy with love, respect, curiosity, compassion and gratitude, you will have access to the faith, hope, prosperity, peace and joy you seek in each moment.

It could be as simple as always waking up to your favorite song. Or taking a few minutes each morning to read an inspiring book.  Maybe it’s a few pages of daily journaling or EFT tapping on your dreams and challenges. Or going for a daily run. Or meditating in the park at dawn or dusk. Or practicing intentional gratitude—naming five things you are thankful for—at the opening and closing of each day. Whatever form it takes, making motivation and inspiration daily priorities will work wonders in your life.

Invest in yourself—you’re worth the effort!

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Posted in All My Blog Posts, Faith, Hope & Spirituality, Gratitude, Prosperity & Abundance, Joy & Vitality, Mindfulness, Meditation & Peace | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Declare Your Independence from Limitation and Lack

Don't Look BackToo many of us limit ourselves by perceiving our past circumstances and experiences as the ultimate predictors of our future success.

Maybe you believe, because you didn’t get a formal education, you aren’t smart enough to excel. Or because your family didn’t have money when you were growing up, you’ll never be prosperous. Or because you got fired from your most recent job, you’ll never again sustain steady, lucrative employment. Or because you went through a divorce (or two), all of your romantic relationships are doomed.

Truth is, everything’s an opportunity. It’s never too late to build the life you dream of. One filled with deep peace, lasting joy, meaningful relationships, fulfillment and prosperity. Consider media magnate Oprah Winfrey, billionaire Andrew Carnegie and blockbuster author JK Rowling.  All of them came from humble beginnings. Instead of seeing their past as a limiting factor, they kept their focus on the road—and possibilities—ahead.

Not only does your past not limit your future, personal attributes considered by the world to be disadvantages can become your most valuable assets and the keys to unimaginable success. Peter Mark Roget is a case in point. While at the age of 61, he was already a respected British physician, lecturer and inventor, like many of his family members, he also suffered from what the world calls “mental illness.”

While, in comparison to his other family members, Roget was considered by many to be “the sane one,” they also labeled him as odd and difficult. Even he described himself as judgmental, humorless, obsessive and paranoid. He counted his steps and was fixated on cleanliness. His favorite hobby—one he first discovered as anxiety soothing in childhood—was making lists.

And so, when he retired from medicine, Roget did what so many retirees do. He dedicated his days to doing what brought him peace and joy by pursuing his favorite hobby with abandon. He spent all day, every day, working on one huge, all-encompassing list of EVERY WORD EVER USED FOR ANYTHING.

Yes, it sounds a little wacky when described like that. But, twelve years later, at age 73, Peter Mark Roget published his giant list of words as a book, the legendary Roget’s Thesaurus of English Words and Phrases. It was an instant and lasting success, becoming the serious writer’s go to reference for synonyms and antonyms. By allowing himself to embrace and celebrate personality traits the world labeled as “defects,” Roget birthed one of the most renowned and powerful resources ever created.

Your past and your personal attributes don’t limit your future; they give you the wisdom and strength to shape it.  You can’t get where you want to go by looking in your rearview mirror. To move forward you must look forward, discern your desired destination, invest yourself fully, focus and follow through.

There is a long road of limitless possibilities awaiting you. When you fuel yourself with unconditional love, respect, curiosity, compassion and gratitude, you build a fulfilling life filled with faith, hope, prosperity, peace and joy. You get there, one baby step at a time.

Declare you independence from limitation and lack. The formula is simple: baby step, gratitude, celebrate, repeat.

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